My Soul to Take (2010)

Directed by: Wes Craven
Cast: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Emily Meade,

Plot: The same night the Riverton Ripper is killer, his soul goes into seven newborn children. Years later someone is killing off these kids one by one. Is the Riverton Ripper back, or is it one of the seven kids. Is Wes Craven back from the grave with a new opus? Sadly no...

Review:
I weep tonight for Wes Craven. He was once a great horror aficionado who was making great films. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and SCREAM are two of my favorite films. I believe A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) to be a literal masterpiece and is the best film to come out of the 80s. Sadly somewhere over time he disappeared and when he was tackling MY SOUL TO TAKE, I was stoked. Wes Craven doing another slasher flick – COUNT ME IN!!! Then…the trailer hit. I was underwhelmed…and then the reviews came in and my heart was breaking. But I was still going to give it a chance. I don’t always agree with the masses (example: Rob Zombie’s Halloween II). A while back I got my hands on the script and to say it was mediocre would be an understatement. It was absolute shit. I finally got the nerve to watch the film tonight (most of it) and…every opinion I had of the script is the same for the finished picture. Let’s dissect Craven’s newest film; I guess if you want to call it that – a film.
Where do I begin? The terribly written characters, the dumb ass dialogue, the ridiculous situations…We’ll start with the characters. These have to be some of the blandest and most boring characters I’ve seen in a slasher film in a long time. They didn’t interest me or evoke any sympathy from me. Hell, they didn’t even make me hate them enough to want them to die. I just didn’t care. Strike one for this film. I didn’t care about one person in this film. At times this film even felt like a parody of a slasher flick as opposed to an actual slasher flick. We have our young hero of Bug, who is so inconsistent it is ridiculous. Everything about him just made no sense. Why did he behave like such a child? At one point when his friend curses he states that he said a bad word and towards the end…he gets the shit beaten out of him by his Goth sister! How am I supposed to root for this guy? This is our lame hero! He acts like a damn two year old. Then his sister is such a bitch to the point where she got annoying, but she gets some points (and I stress some) for being the most interesting character. Her past was actually kind of intriguing and I would like to have seen more of that. But that isn’t much, because she still was lacking a personality, which seems to be a trait of everyone in this town. Personality must be outlawed in Riverton.
Then we have the inane scenes, which were so stupid that they came out of nowhere and made absolutely no sense. The scene where Bug mimics his friend down to the every move: what was that about exactly? It came out of nowhere, added nothing to the plot, and the film never explained this…again…what? They kept adding dumb scenes like this to make us think Bug is the killer, but these scenes made no sense and dumbed down the film even more so, and I thought that was an impossible task because this film was pretty dumb to begin with. Then we have the ATROCIOUS dialogue. The things these kids say are horrible! It felt like it was written by an old man pretending to be a kid when he doesn’t know how a kid speaks…oh wait! Now it all makes sense, because that IS what went down. Next time Wes Craven, have someone write your dialogue. I’ve never heard any teenager speak like any of the kids in this film and you can trust me because I am only twenty. So I was a teenager only a few months ago.
On a technical level this film didn’t fare much better. Wes Craven is a great director with a great eye, but this film felt flat to me. I didn’t notice any style whatsoever. If you told me Craven directed this, I would not have believed you! The score was forgettable – legit I already forgot it and the soundtrack was forgettable as well. It was just your basic pop/rock songs that every teen film has.
And is it just I, but for an R-rated slasher film, it felt very PG-13 to me. Yeah the stabbings were slightly bloody…but they weren’t that bad at all. This film just felt like a PG-13 film with some curse words involved. If they got rid of the cursing, I guarantee this would have gotten that dreaded PG-13 rating. The kills were boring anyway. It was the same each time. Everyone was pretty much stabbed in the stomach or back. Not one death scene was interesting. The chase scenes were boring and let me talk about the killer a bit. He looked ridiculous, he was not scary, and the fact he could disappear/reappear makes no sense, when you see the twist ending. Oh and he says fuckin’ Boo!
The film’s ending also made no sense to me, and if I actually sat down to think about this film (which I don’t plan to do more of), I am positive I could find so many plot holes, I could drive the Titanic AND the iceberg that sunk the Titanic through the plot hole.
You must be asking yourself: “Do I have anything good to say about this?” Yes, I found some stuff to like. I actually like the initial plot of the film – a killer is killed the same night seven babies are born and his seven personalities go into each child, and one child may get his killer personality. I like the idea of that. It’s interesting and unique, but the film didn’t elaborate on this. Instead, it felt like A Nightmare on Scream Street. If you put those two films into a blender…it would shit out this film. I digress; I’m here to talk about the good now, well the little good that there is. The opening scene was interesting and actually had some style and it was a nifty and entertaining scene. It wasn’t particularly scary, but it actually had style and Abel was a creepy guy. The character of Fang (seriously what is with these names?! Bug and Fang?) has an interesting past, and I wish that was elaborated on more…and I will give the film this. The actors weren’t terrible. They were boring, but I felt like that was more the fault of the script and I could see some talent in a few of the actors, if they had a better script that is. The acting was decent, and I did like that the teenagers looked like actual teenagers. No college age kids or thirty-year-olds were casted in this film. Real teens were casted. That was a nice idea. And last but not least, the film was so bad, I couldn’t help but laugh AT it. Again, the scene where Fang beats up Bug – FUNNY stuff.
If you can’t tell I hated this movie, then you must be on drugs. I have not been so disappointed in a film in a long time. I was hoping for this to be Wes Craven’s comeback…but instead I got shit. I lost more hope (of the little I had) for SCREAM 4…God help us all…

Grade: 3/10

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

Directed by: Marcos Efron
Cast: Amber Heard, Odette Yustman, and Karl Urban

Plot: Two girls are biking through Argentina until they get into a fight and one girl leaves. When she returns, her friend has gone missing and now it is upto Stephanie (Amber Heard) to figure out what happened and to piece everything together...but who can she trust?

Review:
Another day, another remake - but thankfully today it is a good remake. The original And Soon the Darkness was a well done nifty little thriller about two British women in France. It was a nifty, but very flawed film. This remake places two (sexy as fuck) American women in Argentina. It was a nice change to help differentiate from the original. Our two main characters are Stephanie (Amber Heard) and Ellie (Odette Yustman). Stephanie is a responsible smart woman who likes to stay on track, while Ellie is a wild party girl that would rather have sex than look at the sights. The characters aren't anything new, but each actress brought to their roles a certain spark to make me care. Because I cared, that helped the suspense.
Especially Amber Heard; she is a fantastic young actress who should be a much bigger star by now. She was fantastic in the role and really had me with her character the entire film. I wanted her to find Ellie and to get out of this situation alive.
The movie was BEAUTIFULLY shot. The director really used the Argentina landscape to its fullest, especially in the early shots of the film. This was a gorgeous film to look at and he made me want to be there in Argentina. To go along with this, the film also had a pretty well-done score. It wasn't anything amazing, but it got the job done, and I think it backed up the visuals very nicely. Well done Tomandandy.
The film as it goes on, really becomes different from the original, and that was the best way to go. We don't need another shot-by-shot remake. The second half of the film is completely different from the original. They added more action and one twist was completely changed (having to do with the friend) and I liked these changes. Since it was becoming different from the original, it added more suspense since I was curious with what they were going to do. Plus the chase scenes rocked and Amber Heard became more badass as the movie went on.
Some people might complain about the lack of gore/violence, but this film isn't about that. It is all about generating suspense and tension...and the film succeeded half the time. Half the time I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see Amber Heard get through her newest obstacle.
The film is no where near perfect though. Like the original, this film is equally flawed. My biggest issue would probably be that this film really is quite predictable. I saw every twist coming and I was never surprised by anything truly. This didn't help, because for half the film I was on the edge of my seat...but that was only for the ending. For the first big part of the film, I was just there and I was enjoying it...but I felt nothing. Then we had all the townspeople. They were there for only two reasons: to scowl and mug for the camera and to ignore our heroine. That is it. They were supposed to be obvious red herrings, but it wasn't needed since the twists were obvious anyway. This dumbed down the film quite a bit I will not lie. Karl Urban was completely wasted. He was good in the film, but his character brought nothing, and they should have done more with him because he is a great actor (hot too). It is a shame. I liked what they had for his character...if only they went farther.
In the end though, this is a predictable thriller that brings nothing new to the table, but I still had a good time.

VERDICT: 6/10

Let Me In (2010)

Directed by: Matt Reeves
Cast: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Elias Koteas, Cara Buono


Plot: A lonely 12-year-old boy falls in love with a lonely 12-year-old girl. The girl turns out to be a vampire and she needs blood to live…

Review:
Vampires have always been a subgenre of horror I’ve adored ever since I was a kid. They are beautiful, but deep down they are monsters. They live a lonely life full of guilt and pain…and then Twilight happened. Oh how I LOATHE that series. It does not deserve the word saga. It butchered everything I love about vampires by making them more like beautiful superheroes. They were not monsters and showed how perfect their lives were. They were rich, they didn’t need to feed on people…and they sparkled. This film showed vampires the way they should be – as truly tortured monsters.
I should start off by saying that this is a remake of a truly superb Swedish flick known as Let the Right One In. That was a beautiful film that boasted a fantastic performance from its lead female. The film was flawed, but it is still a favorite of mine (10/10). When a remake was announced, I was not happy, but now I’ve finally gotten to see the remake…and goddamn this film was as good as the original!
This film did not gloss over the life of a vampire. Abby’s life is tough, lonely, and full of blood. When she feeds, you can see the monster inside of her force itself out to show its face. She seems like an innocent young girl, but she is a truly mature monster on the inside. I was afraid they would try to lighten the movie for the Twilight audience, but I am proud to say they did not. Even though this film is a love story at its heart, it is a horror film through and through.
The violence and the blood were plentiful and I was very much pleased on this end, but the love story…really got me. It got me in the original too, but I don’t know what it was I was MORE affected in this remake. I think it has to do with the fact they focused more on their relationship in this film. My sole qualm with the original was a subplot dealing with the older group of friends. Their role was boring and took me out of the film and I feel not much was done with them. In this remake their plight was taken out, and instead we got a policeman to follow around (VERY well played by Elias Koteas). This was a better idea, because I got more attached to him, then all the people in the original. Then we had the characters of Owen and Abby. Owen was more likable in this remake than Oskar was in the original. I liked Oskar, but Owen has this quality that made me want to hug him non stop. Abby was done in a more ambiguous way than Eli in the original. In the original, you know she was in love with Oskar. At first I did not know how to take the way they did Abby. But after much thinking about it, I adore the ambiguity of her character. We never truly know where she is coming from. Is she really in love with Owen, or is she just using him and nothing more? We never get a true answer to this question.
Another thing I love is the way they treated Owen’s parents. In the original he had a good mother who loved him and a father who was non-existent. In this remake, his mother was barely there and we didn’t even see her face for the bulk of the film. I liked this idea as it helped us feel just how lonely he is. It brought us into his world and how he felt. It is like we felt the loneliness more of him in this film.
It would be a sin if I didn’t mention the acting. Kodi Smit-McPhee gave a FANTASTIC performance as Owen. He was very affable and really made me feel for him. He had great chemistry with Chloe Moretz as Abby. I’ll get to her last though. The adults of the film all did a wonderful job, with Richard Jenkins standing out as the sad old man in love with the young girl. Onto Chloe Moretz! I cannot rave enough about her. Her performance was astounding. I’ve seen some good child performances in my life, but damn! I have never seen such a tour-de-force performance like this from a child before. Chloe blew my mind. She was likable, scary, and nefarious all in one. She was able to emote each facet of Abby’s personality and created a three-dimensional character like no other. I might have to say she was even better than Lina Leandersson in the original. Chloe reminded me of a young Natalie Portman circa Leon: The Professional.
The directing was fantastic. J.J. Abrams did a wonderful job, although he did copy a lot of shots from the original. I liked that he didn’t copy it exactly though. He got rid of some of my flaws and added a few of his own takes that really worked. I liked how he opened the film differently by bringing us right into the action and grabbing our attention. The musical score to this film was astounding as well and really helped deliver the emotion.
In the end, it is the love story that makes this film. The relationship between two lonely children grabbed at my heart and grinded it into dust. Their story broke my heart, but made me smile at the same time. What really works is that these are fully developed characters. They aren’t perfect human beings. These are children who live a tough life and are more mature beyond their years. Again, is Abby a monster? Yes and no. She really is just a scared young girl still, but something evil lies within her. Is Owen a good person? Who knows? Did Abby really love Owen? We never get the true answer, but since I’m a romantic I like to believe that yes she does love him.
I just cannot stop gushing over this film. Did I have any flaws? Not many. I do have to say that I wish the film wasn’t SO similar to the original. But it is no big deal, because the original really is an almost perfect film. This film kept all the best parts of the original and did add its own twist to some aspects. Some of the CGI was a bit hokey but I was never truly taken out of the film. Although I do have to say there was one subplot revealed towards the end of Let the Right One In about Eli, that I felt was really interesting and unique. It was unsurprisingly taken out of this remake. I thought it was a good twist, but I’m not surprised it was deleted because studios probably thought it was too risqué. One last mini flaw I have is, that I felt the scene where Abby/Eli comes in uninvited was done better in the original. Not the worst sin, but it had to be said.
All these flaws though can’t stop me from giving this film a perfect rating. The original is one of my all time favorites, and I have to say this remake is tied with that film. I love them both equally. Will you let this film in?

GRADE: 9/10

Twilight (2008)

Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Cast:
Kristen Stewart/Bella
Robert Pattinson/Edward
Billy Burke/Charlie
Ashley Greene/Alice

Plot: Bella is a new girl in Forks. She is pale and "unique" and totally different from everyone else...obviously. She meets pale Edward and instantly falls for him. But the catch is he is a vampire...that sparkles. Wait what? Here is the bigger surprise...I enjoy this film.

Review:
I've reviewed (and destroyed) both the sequels to this film, but I never actually got around to reviewing the film that started the series from hell, Twilight. Where does this film rank in the scheme of things: honestly, not that bad.
As bad as the sequels are, I have to say I DO like this film. Don't shoot me! I know it's not a great movie. I know it probably isn't even a good movie, but I can't help but like it anyway. This film is a guilty pleasure for me in every sense of the word. What about this film do I like so much?
Let me start with our main character of Bella! I know in both reviews of the sequels I bashed her and spoke about how she is one of the worst heroines to ever exist. And I'll still abide to that! I hate that fuckin' girl! BUT in this first film, I actually didn't hate her. I can't say I loved her either. But I thought she was likable enough. We never learn TOO much about her, but Kristen was very likable in the role and I believe added SOME depth to the character, whether it be a little thing like just listening to her iPod or carrying around pepper spray. It added some character traits to her. (In the shitty book, she has NONE! She even mentions at one point she hates music. How does one hate music?!). So right there is a small improvement from the book. Too bad the sequels made her more like the book character in the sequels.
Robert Pattinson was awkard in the role of Edward...and can someone please say miscasted?! Edward is supposed to be beautiful...I'm sorry, but Robert Pattinson is ugly as fuck. How are chicks interested in him? Sorry, it had to be said. His acting wasn't that great either. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't great. He was just okay, if not awkward in the role.
I also have to say, the love story won me over in this film (unlike the sequels). I fell for it. I found their awkward conversations kind of cute and their relationship did touch me for some reason. I couldn't help but smile at these two kids falling in love. In this film, Bella isn't her selfish bitch yet. Her world isn't ONLY Edward and she is actually somewhat independent. In the end, when she thinks her mother is kidnapped, she goes BY herself with pepper spray to save her from vampires. That is actually pretty cool I have to say. Usually she'd wait for Edward to save her, so I liked that they made her a bit independent in this film.
My favorite part of the film is her relationship with her father. It's awkward but cute. I liked the way they interacted and how they never knew what to say. Whenever the film was about them, I was loving it. I could have actually watched a film just about Bella moving in with her father.
Another plus is the high school environment that actually felt like a real high school. No cliques or stereotypes - just human beings. And it would be stupid of me not to bring up the best part of EVERY film: the soundtrack. The score is beautiful and movie chooses some kick ass songs. Is anyone surprised? This is the ONLY part each film excels at.
I think what really sets this film apart from the sequels is the director. This film is BEAUTIFUL to look at, and Hardwicke seems to have a firm handle on the romance and the action. Her indie roots really help this film and she seems to be trying to almost cover up the sappiness of the film. Good job!
But...the film isn't great. I mean, I know it's not. Again: guilty pleasure. Let me start off by saying sparkling vampires? Seriously? I don't care who you are, but that is NEVER EVER going to be a good idea. Fuckin' retarded! In the end, these are NOT vampires. They're superhero fairies. They sparkle, they run fast, and they look like abercrombie models. How can I be scared of these "monsters"? It doesn't help that the film glamorizes the lifestyle. Yes, I know True Blood does too but at least that show also portrays them as monsters and doesn't shy away from the blood. This film makes their lifestyle seem perfect. I like my vampires to be animalistic monsters thank you!
The Cullen clan wasn't explored enough for my liking. They were really only there as pretty faces. Although Alice is such a GREAT character! I get such a kick out of her first meeting with Bella and that kick she does when playing baseball. Someone give this character a spin off please! This all leads me to the bad guys of the flick. They were not scary...AT ALL. In fact I kind of found them funny. I should have been terrified by them, not wanting to laugh at them. Actually I found myself wanting to bang the blonde dude James at one point...yeah scary...whatever. It doesn't help the fact that their subplot just felt thrown in. It was kind of just there and didn't feel right and felt really rushed.
My last flaw is that a lot of the character development of Bella and Edward was sent to a booming soundtrack so we don't actually hear their conversations which is a shame, cause that would have made the film more meaty.
Overall, this film is a guilty pleasure for me. I know it is like the antithesis of horror films and vampires, but I can't help but like it anyway. I own this on dvd, but FUCK THE SEQUELS!!! Fuck both of them!

Overall Grade: 6/10

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Director: David Slade
Cast:
Kristen Stewart/Bella
Robert Pattinson/Edward
Taylor Lautner/Jacob
Ashley Greene/Alice
Jackson Rathbone/Jasper
Nikki Reed/Rosalie
Bryce Dallas Howard/Victoria
Xavier Samuel/Riley

Plot: A vapid bland teen falls in love with a sparkling fairy...sorry I mean vampire and a shirtless Abercrombie model (aka werewolf), but who is she to choose. Watch said bland teen dick around two equally bland guys. Oh and there is a war somewhere in there.

Review:
I’m going to start off by saying I don’t want to hate the Twilight series. I love romance. I love fantasy and action. I AM a Kristen Stewart fan. I am just trying to say, I am not a Twilight basher. I mean I DO bash the Twilight series, but that isn’t because it is stupid (that is one of the many reasons), I do it because it is BADLY written with lackluster character development, and is based on source material that could be used for toilet paper (aka Mormon propaganda). To say I’m not a fan is an understatement. But this leads me to this – I AM a fan of the first movie. I like it. Sue me. It wasn’t anything great but it hit my romantic bone just right. Then…the sequel came, New Moon and to say it was one of the worst pieces of shit would be an understatement. So I came into Eclipse with MAJOR hesitation (especially since I’ve read the books…UGH!) Was it better that New Moon? Yes it was.
But that isn’t saying much. This is NOT a good movie at all. Let me start off with the pros. OMG, isn’t that Edward HAWWWT?!?!?! Just kidding. Fuck that guy. But legit, as usual the musical score and the soundtrack is the BEST part of the film. They hire great composers who really bring some heart to these heartless films. The rock or pop songs they choose are also great. I own the soundtrack to every film. I love what they do with the music. The acting was also decent from all. I think Kristen Stewart is a decent actress who gets more flack than she deserves. (She was brilliant as Joan Jett). But it is the side characters that stole the show for me. Bella, Edward, and Jacob are NOT interesting to me. They’re fuckin’ boring; but more on that later. Everyone else though is quite interesting. Alice is fun and cute (I could watch an entire film about her) and Jasper and Rosalie really got some meat this time around. Their flashback scenes were well done and Rosalie’s was the BEST part of the movie. Why couldn’t that be the entire film? Her flashback was intense, well directed, well acted, and was interesting. Her one scene was more intense than the entire love story that has been spawning throughout each film. It also helps that Nikki Reed is a VERY talented young actress who should be a bigger star than what she is.
Another pro is that some of the action scenes were actually pretty cool. They were good enough to keep my interest; but I stress some. Plus, I have to say that I like the fact that Victoria finally had a bigger role. I like her character and if she was handled well, she could have been pretty bad-ass.
Plus I have to add, it was a smart move for this film to have it's tongue implanted in its cheek. There were a lot of clever lines (like when Edward asks if Jacob owns a laugh, if I said I didn't smirk at that I'd be lying). I also have to add that it was great too see one of my boyfriends in this films, Xavier Samuel. He gave a menacing/sexy performance with his limited scenes. Plus that little girl vampire was interesting. I wish they did more with her and her plight.
But now onto the bad…where do I start? I love David Slade. His directing for Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night was brilliant! He was a director to look out for, but other then some cool looking action scenes, this film was boring to look at. Some of the cinematography was okay, but where was the style he showed in his pre-mentioned films. Not here! Then we have the LAME love story. I LOVE a good romance, but this is NOT a good love story. Bella is one of the WORST characters ever written. She is not a role model for women and is a dependent man-needing whore who dicks around two equally bland men who could still do better than her dependent ass. Seriously, Bella is one of the most aggravating and worst written characters I’ve ever seen. They treat her like she is a DAMN martyr (that scene where she cuts herself with a rock), when in fact she is fuckin’ stupid. I’m sorry, but she is selfish. She does not care about her family. All she wants to do is become a vampire to be with Edward…but she doesn’t think about the fact that she’ll NEVER see her damn family again or her friends. She is vapid and doesn’t think about anything.
This brings me to another major fault with the love story. This whole film is the same damn conversation on repeat. “Bella marry me.” “Okay Edward. I love you. Make me a vampire.” “I can’t make you a vampire.” “But Jacob I love you as a friend.” “Bella I’m better.” “Jacob you look good without a shirt, now kiss me. I love Edward more.” And…repeat.
I will give the film this, it had some good ideas. I like the idea of the story the werewolf tribe told Bella and how they connected her to the story. But again, because she is such an unlikable character it did NOT work at all. If she was better developed and selfless, trying to make her seem like a martyr might not have been a horrible thing.
The "famous" tent scene was ridiculous by the way. The Arrow states that it is very homosexual between Edward and Jacob...and I have to agree! I felt MORE chemistry between them then I did between them and Bella...I'd watch that movie XD
Then we have the CGI. Man was it bad! I actually thought it was sort of decent in New Moon but it blew BIG time here! And the fact they made the vampires break like concrete was an interesting idea, but it was so obviously a cash out to get that PG-13 rating for the little tweens. Fuck them.
In the end, another sucky movie for the kids. Not fun. Not interesting. Boring as hell with unlikable and bland main characters. BUT the soundtrack is great, the side characters were interesting (seriously the movie should be about THEM and not the LAME love story), and some of the action was cool.

Overall Grade: 4/10

High Lane (Vertige) (2010)

Director: Abel Ferry
Cast:
Fanny Valette/Chloe
Johan Libéreau/Loic
Raphaël Lenglet/Guillaume
Maud Wyler/Karine
Nicolas Giraud/Fred

Plot: Five friends are rock climbing in Croatia, but when a bridge falls leaving them stranded on a mountain their day is about to take a turn for the worst as they are being targeted and killed someone or something.

Review:
I actually saw this film about a year ago, but I saw a dubbed version (ugh!). It was good but I didn’t love it. It was rather generic and predictable. But a year later I got my hands on the original French version with English subtitles and I put it in again. Was it worth tapping it again? In my mind, yes! Re-watching this film I was able to enjoy it much more than the first time. I think it also helps that I hate dubbing! So not having to listen to dubbing probably helped my enjoyment factor of this film this time around. But lets get away from this subject and talk about High Lane.
Wow! I don’t remember this film being THIS good! The first half of this film is simply astounding. It is beautiful shot and the cinematography was beautiful. Watching these people rock climb was amazing. I didn’t notice ANY CGI or green screen, so it seems like this was all done in the real outdoors! That’s fuckin’ great! The first half also had genuine suspense that had me biting my nails, in particular a scene where a bridge collapses. The first half of the film was my favorite part! It was beautiful and suspenseful. The directing was astounding and the music score kicked ass. Plus the acting was great from all five actors. Fanny Valette as our heroine Chloe stood out the most. She hit some great emotional peeks and made her very likable. I was always behind this girl and wanted her to make it through this situation.
Which brings me to the second half of the film…once the threat was revealed, I couldn’t say I was thrilled. The second half of the film was still scary and full of suspense, but the threat didn’t really scare me. I found him more ridiculous. He was just your basic crazy mountain man that felt like he belonged in Wrong Turn (although honestly I preferred this movie). But just because I wasn’t fond of the threat in the movie didn’t ruin the film. I got over it and I was taken on a brutal experience. The deaths were brutal and violent and quite bloody in some scenes. The fight scenes were brutal and shot very well. Watching these people fight the mountain man was a visceral experience that went for the jugular. The final five minutes of the film were especially amazing when there is one fight scene between a character and the killer. It was brutal, bloody, and I couldn’t peel my eyes away!
But alas the film wasn’t perfect. It was still quite a flawed film. First of all the characters needed some more work. The heroine was very well written and likable, and the other girl Karine was also very likable. But the three guys in the movie…man! One was an idiot, one was a whiny baby who always cried, and the other guy was an asshole (but he wasn’t that bad). The asshole guy played by Lenglet was the best of the male characters. He at least had great charisma. But seriously the other two men needed to be better written. Then there were the stupid character decisions that they made which annoyed me. But my biggest issue is that in the end the first half was better than the second half. While brutal and fun, the second half was just very generic and predictable. I really wish the film went in a different direction and gave us something a bit different than the same old-same old.
But in the end, I still recommend this film. It is perfect on a technical level and it is still a good creepy film with great suspense scenes. Go check it, because the French have done it again. This isn’t another French classic (ala High Tension, Inside, Martyrs, Them, Frontier(s)), but it is still a worthwhile movie.

Grade: 7/10

Night of the Demons (2010)

Director: Adam Gierasch
Cast:
Monica Keena/Maddie
Edward Furlong/Colin
Shannon Elizabeth/Angela
Diora Baird/Lily
John F. Beach/Jason
Bobbi Sue Luther/Suzanne
Michael Copon/Dex

Plot: Angela is throwing a party at the Broussard mansion, but when the party is broken up by the police Angela and six others are about to realize what really goes down in that house, as they each become possessed by demons. Fun fuckin’ times ensue!

Review:
I’m a fan of the original 1988 Night of the Demons (8/10). It wasn’t a scary film, but it was a fun one. The acting wasn’t good, and if you think about it neither was the film itself. It was trashy smut with gore, fun, and more gore. The film was out there and was a party from start to finish. When news broke of a remake, I wasn’t upset. I hate this remake craze but I have to learn to live with it. I was curious to see how they would treat this remake and I finally got to check it out today. And you know what, it isn’t bad!
Like the original this film isn’t an intense character study and isn’t about drama. The characters are one-dimensional and you know what! It didn’t bother me. This isn’t a flick that needs intense character development. The actors were decent and knew what type of film they were in and they each had fun with their roles – in particular Monica Keena and Edward Furlong. Every one seemed to have a good time, as was I.
But the main reason to see this film is the gore and the trash. How did they do in this option. Not bad; not bad. I don’t know if it lived up to the original in trashiness but this film did fine on its own. The gore was pleasing and very nice to the retinas and I relished in the fact that most of the gore effects were practical. Thank fuckin’ god! Another great thing about this film is that it paid tribute to the original in various ways. They kept a couple of the character names the same and they even re-did the now infamous “lipstick” scene. If you have seen the original, you know what I’m talking about. They took it to a new demented level in this film! But there was one cameo that FLOORED me in the beginning of the film by the original Suzanne herself, Linea Quigley. The directing was energetic and the soundtrack was kick ass (although if there was a score – don’t ask me. I don’t remember it). I also want to mention the opening scene that was shot to be like a silent film was CLEVER as hell! Loved that! The script is witty with some great lines…and holy shit was some hilarious! This film just never took itself seriously and that was the way to go.
But in this party of a film, there were still some problems to be had. Mostly the middle section lagged quite a bit. Most of the characters got possessed towards the beginning of the film, so for a majority it was three people just hiding in a “safe room.” That was another thing I didn’t like – the inclusion of a safe room that the demons couldn’t enter. This was a stupid idea that brought the action and horror to a halt in the middle. Another problem of mine is some of the demon designs. Some were pretty great, while others were pretty boring and ho-hum. They were too cgi in some scenes as well. I prefer the demon designs in the original film.
But the film brings it all home with gusto in a bad ass finale that had me cheering at the screen. This is one of the better remakes out there and is one fun movie. It didn’t ignore the original film but it also went in its own direction. It had a great comic feel (I love the way they react to the demons and Keena’s random monologue about them half way through the film) and ample gore. Plus straight dudes will love the many boobs in the film! This is the prime example of a film to watch while getting drunk at a party! Watch and enjoy!

Grade: 7/10

Good Horror...we need some!

America wake up!
Why do you keep releasing all these crappy horror remakes?! Enough with the new Nightmare on Elm Street and the new Friday the 13th! Either make a sequel or STOP disrespecting these classics. When it came to the Nightmare remake, I legit walked out on it. I thought it was a piece of shit. I will one day finish it...to review...for you guys...DON'T MAKE ME!!! PLEASE!!! =[

Which brings me to this, I KNOW there is good horror out there! We have Adam Green's Hatchet 2, which got ousted from theatres after three days. WHAT THE FUCK America?! A non remake and UBER gory slasher film that was released unrated! This could have changed the horror genre in this country forever...but instead as usual you fuck things up =/

And not only Hatchet 2. At least that will make it to DVD. We have a certain indie flick, a personal favorite of mine, that has been waiting to be released for years. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane. It was supposed to be released in 2006...and well I'm still waiting for it America. Instead I've been treated to the Prom Night remake and The Omen remake and The Fog remake and EVEN that PATHETIC The Stepfather remake...does anyone else notice a trend here? All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is one of the best and most original slasher films I've seen in my life. It is in my top ten favorite movies and has one of the best endings to a film. Why has it not been released yet? It would be a hit!

Then we have the new Australian horror masterpiece, The Loved Ones. I can tell you right now this will be another Mandy Lane. Who knows when it will see the light of day. It was a perfect movie and it was EVERYTHING I love about the horror genre - great acting, likable characters, brutal violence/gore, suspense, scare, and morbid humor. THe film was perfect! Just give this a theatrical release! Lola could be the next big horror villain. We haven't really had a good villain to add to the list of the greats (Jason, Freddy, Michael, Leatherface, Chucky, Pinhead and the Cenobites) and I'm sorry but Jigsaw does NOT count. Lola could be added to this list. She is scary as shit.

I'm not saying all remakes are bad. If you can improve upon a film, fine! Go for it! But if the film is already perfect *cough*Halloween*cough* why bother remaking it? You're only going to embarrass yourself. So I am begging America to wake up and to stop ruining the one thing I care about more than anything else in the world - Horror Films. We can still save it, if we start now. What happened when horror films were made with heart? Now they're all made with money in mind.

The Loved Ones (2010)

Director: Sean Byrne
Cast:
Xavier Samuel/Brent
Robin McLeavy/Lola
Victoria Thaine/Holly
John Brumpton/Lola’s Father Eric
Jessica McNamee/Mia
Richard Wilson/Jamie

PLOT:
Lola wants to go to the end of school dance, and what Lola wants, Lola gets…
Brent is a high school teen who lost his father in a car accident and now deals with depression, but it is his adorable girlfriend Holly that keeps him from giving up on life together. When he rejects Lola’s invitation to the dance, he is kidnapped and wakes up tied to a chair in Lola’s kitchen with her father. What ensues is a night of horror, torture, blood, knives, brutal violence, and morbid humor.

REVIEW:
The Loved Ones is a movie I have had my eye on all year. It all started when I saw the picture of a lone woman dressed in pink running through a field as the sun rises behind her with a knife in her hand. The screen shot was both beautiful and creepy and that one picture is one got me interested in the film. For months there was almost no information about this film, and the moment I saw the trailer, I knew this was going to be more than just a basic horror film, and right I was.
By the time this film ended, my jaw was on the floor. I didn’t just watch a horror film, I had a horror experience. For a sad year in horror, it has been saved in the past few months with the releases of Piranha 3D, Frozen, and now The Loved Ones. The film opened up with Brent swerving out of the way of a ghostly boy in the street, crashing into a tree, which kills his father. The movie starts with a bang. Cut to six months later and Brent now lives a depressed life where he cares about three things: metal music, pot, and his girlfriend Holly. The movie already started off on the right bat by giving us a great hero to root for. He was interesting and very likable and I could instantly relate to him. He reminded me of myself when I was in high school. So right there I was behind the hero all the way through. It also helps that the very sexy and VERY talented Xavier Samuel played him. He is a very underrated actor in my opinion, so its nice to see him in a lead role and he gave a very visceral and likable performance as Brent.
When the horror starts, it never lets up. The violence continues to ramp up and the film continues to get more and more brutal. The movie was scary as fuck! There were scenes were I was honest to god (or whoever is out there) terrified! It’s been a while since that has happened to me with a movie! This film gives us a new villain to add to the list of great horror villains. Lola. What can I say about this beautiful creature? She was scary as fuck, and I wanted her to die so badly! But strangely I also found her sexy in a strange way and was still a bit sympathetic towards her in scenes. Talk about a BRILLIANT performance by Robin McLeavy. I’ve never even heard of this girl before, but I will definitely keep tabs on her. This girl has major acting chops. She blew me away with her scary as shit performance. She and Xavier Samuel were both amazing in their roles. Brumpton as her father was also creepy, yet endearing in the role in how he just wants his daughter to be happy.
Another aspect I loved about the film is another certain relationship between Brent and his girlfriend Holly (wonderfully played by Victoria Thaine). Thaine was adorable as Holly, and I just wanted to hug her and be friends with her. We can understand why Brent really cares for her.
I loved how the film had a big set of balls. It wasn’t afraid to go farther and farther, and as the time went on, the film continued to get crazier and crazier. I loved the implied incest of Lola and her father’s relationship. It just added to their insanity. Another thing I admire is the morbid humor. There were some scenes where the film will just have me laughing at the absurdity (that scene with Brent in the tree and Lola’s laugh LOL!). The movie was gory per se, but it was one brutal film. What it didn’t show didn’t take away from the film, because I was still squirming at many of the scenes and my jaw dropped down in terror at some of these scenes. But when they did show the bloody good, boy did it work! No CGI in this film – all practical! Another great mark to the film and this film had a real knack for creating some suspenseful scenes. There was one particular scene towards the end and a police car that had me on the edge of my seat. I honestly had NO idea how this film would end and there were some twists that took me aback.
On a technical level, this film was perfect. The directing was beautiful and Byrne really knew how to create a scary scene and the cinematography really was astounding. The beauty of the shots really clashed with the harsh brutality of the situation and it worked for me. As for the soundtrack and that musical score – it KICKED my ass! I must own it!
By the time the movie reached the last half hour, it went beyond what I ever thought would happen and it just became all insanity. Wait until you see what is in the basement – WOW! I didn’t see that one coming.
One thing I haven’t mentioned is a certain subplot with Brent’s best friend Sac who is having the perfect night with his dream date, the beautiful Goth Mia. His subplot brought up some laughs and was a breather for anyone who couldn’t take Brent’s horror anymore. At first I was confused by this storyline, because I didn’t think it was necessary but in the end it came together quite well with the main storyline. The character of Mia was quite tragic and sad and was very well played by McNamee. She played her with such sexiness that oozed from every one of her pores, but you could also always tell how much pain she was in inside.
I’m going to say it now; this film is a horror masterpiece. Yes! I said it. In my opinion, this is a perfect film. I haven’t been this satisfied with a horror film in a long while – of course it is a foreign film. It’s from Australia. I say SEE this movie and it is now one of my favorite films.

Grade: 10/10

Deadly Friend (1986)

Director: Wes Craven
Cast:
Matthew Laborteaux/Paul
Kristy Swanson/Sam
Michael Sharrett/Tom
Anne Twomey/Paul's Mother

Plot: Intelligent Paul and his robot BB move to town with his sweet mother. He falls for his cute neighbor Sam, but when his robot is shot to death and Sam is accidentally killed he uses BB's data chip to put into Sam's body to revive her body. But now Sam is a lean, mean killing machine. What is a love struck boy to do?

Review:
I'm going to start off by saying I'm a big Wes Craven fan, but I've never heard of Deadly Friend. When I found it on his resume on IMDB, I was intrigued by the plot. I love horror, and I like a good romance as well. I especially love when they are combined (Let the Right One In is my favorite horror/romance yet!). Upon research I heard it is based on a pretty good novel, which I never read, so I'm going into this film with no expectations. All I wanted was a good horror/romance film. Did I get that?
Let's start off with the good first. The cast is what made it happen. Matthew Laborteaux as Paul is actually pretty good. He made his too intelligent for his own good character seem believable and was VERY likable in the role, while Michael Sharret as Tom plays his best friend. Sharret has a very good appeal to him and he added depth to his character and created a very likable friend who I wouldn't mind having as a friend. But the standout is none other than Kristy Swanson as the tragic Sam. Sam is a girl abused by her father but she is too afraid to leave him. Swanson plays her with such vulnerability and class that if I wasn't gay, I would have fallen in love with her. I really wanted to pull her out of the screen and to save her from her asshole of a father. Men like him should be locked up, tortured, and beaten for eternity so they can see if they like it!
These three characters all played off each other wonderfully and I thought Laborteaux and Swanson had a great chemistry with one another. I actually believed in their blossoming relationship. I just wanted to see them fall in love and get away. But this is a horror/romance, so something bad WILL happen. When Sam is accidentally killed by her father, it all goes to hell. I really wanted her to live and to escape from his clutches. Paul takes it upon himself to save her with BB's chip. Oh right! I forgot to mention that Paul is a young genius who has a robot he built. It sounds cheesy, but the robot was pretty cute and funny and brought smiles to my face.
The film had a GREAT build up so when the second half started, I couldn't wait to see where they would take then teenage frankenstein type love story...And this is where all my problems lie. They should've left it as a straight romance film. First of all, how come when Sam has the robot chip in her head...she all of a sudden has super human strength? It doesn't make much sense. She might have a chip in her brain, but her body is STILL human, not robotic. So the added strength brought nothing.
Then there are ALL the scenes where Craven rips off his own Nightmare on Elm Street. (When the father goes down to the basement). It is so obvious that the studio had him add in the dream sequences to bank off the VERY profitable (and perfect) Nightmare film. It's a shame, cause this film could've been great on its own. The death scenes were pretty badly done, and the gore was both unnecessary and badly done. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE gore, but this film just didn't need it! (That basketball scene - UGH!) What started off as a sweet romance film, turns into a bad horror film with a cute girl killing people who wronged her one by one. It's a shame! Becasue I KNOW there was once a good film in this! I can feel it in my bones! I can feel the studio tampering from this film. Even Craven's directing was pretty flat. Then we got the old woman and the abusive father characters who had no dimension what so ever. The father could've been even scarier if he was more realistic, and that old woman just annoyed the shit out of me. Plus what the hell were those dream sequences doing in this film?! This is NOT Nightmare on Elm Street! Stop pretending it is. But whoever lit this film did an amazing job! I will give them that!
Plus there are the dumb mistakes characters make, and some realism issues. (For example, when the doctor talks to Paul and his mother about Sam, can't he NOT do that, because they aren't family? Just saying.)
I DID love the themes of love brought up though - about how love can make people do crazy and bad things. I like how love messed up Paul's head and now he created a monster out of a beautiful person. Too bad they didn't explore these themes MUCH more.
The soundtrack was actually pretty great and reeled me into the film, even when the film was losing me.
And then we have the ending...oh god that ending...The finale was pretty dumb, when it should have been sad and poetic. That final scene was EVEN WORSE. Almost ruined the film for me!
But the film was still half a good film, that needed more development. But I blame the fuckin' studios for this! It's a damn shame cause I KNOW this was once a great film.

Overall Grade: 5/10

Blog - What I Hope for!

Here is a short blog - Hello everyone! As many horror fans know Resident Evil 4: Afterlife is upon us in two days. I am a HUGE fan of the video game series. They're the only video games I can play non stop. But I also adore the first film. I know a LOT of people hate it, but I love it anyhow. I thought it was a fun flick with a great heroine in Milla Jovovich and some fun (even if they were TOO underdeveloped) soldier characters. The action and the scares were present and the zombies looked badass.
Then we had the first sequel. The trailer kicked ALL sorts of ass and I honestly couldn't wait for it. I thought it was going to be even BETTER than the first film...and then I saw it. My dreams were crushed and my hopes fell. It was shit! What did they do? The direction was horrible, the soundtrack sucked, and the zombies were barely there. The action scenes were badly shot and even the acting was pretty mediocre. Although the saving grace was Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine. She really was PERFECTION in the role and got EVERYTHING that made Jill in the game. She was the reason I bought the film on dvd.
The I saw the trailer for the Resident Evil: Extinction! Claire Redfield was being introduce, who is my favorite character from the games and was being played by great actress Ali Larter. The trailer rocked; could it possibly be the film to make up for the second film...uhhh...not exactly. First and foremost it WAS an improvement. The direction was better and so were the characters and action scenes. But it still wasn't that great. I just didn't give a damn about anyone, except for Alice. Even with her, that was to an extent.
And now here we are again, with Resident Evil: Afterlife. The trailers rock, but will i be let down again is the question. I was let down big time by 2 and 3. So my wish is for this film to fix the series and to be as good as the first film. PLEASE! I need another good resident evil film.

Martyrs - Xavier Dolan

Here is another sexy man of Horror - Xavier Dolan. He had a very small role in Martyrs as Antoine, the young son of the family who meets the brutal end of a shotgun. Great scene...and great looking! =D
What is he doing now?!

The Sexy Men of Hostel

Here are the sexy men that star in Hostel. The one all the way to the right who plays Josh, now he sure is a cutie =D

Xavier Samuel

Since he has done Road Kill and has The Loved Ones coming out (one day), I can now post a picture of my future ex-husband Xavier Samuel. I mean he is now part of the horror genre after all ;)

Back off, he is mine! =D

Frozen (2010)

Director: Adam Green
Cast:
Emma Bell/Parker
Shawn Ashmore/Lynch
Kevin Zegers/Dan

Plot: Three friends are stuck on a chairlift as a blizzard is supposed to roll on in. No one will be there for the next week. Can they survive?

Review:
I was supposed to see this film back in February when it first came out. I loved the trailer and I'm a big fan of Adam Green and Shawn Ashmore. When no theatre by me was playing this film I was devastated. So this has been a LONG wait to get to see this film. Was it worth it?
YOU BET YOUR ASS! I had really high expectations and this film met them AND then some. I honestly wasn't expecting the film to be THIS good. Adam Green has proved to us with this film, that he isn't a one hit wonder. Hatchet wasn't just a good fluke. Between this, Hatchet, and Spiral, Green really has a lot of talent and might be the savior of the horror genre in America. He really proved to us that he can do any type of horror film given to him - whether it be a fun and gory slasher, a psychological thriller, or a survival thriller that takes place in one place the entire film.
What is amazing is how the film never once gets boring, even though every scene is on the chair lift. That is the beauty about having a great director and an equally great script. The script is smart and gave us three very likable and well developed characters that I found myself rooting for. I honestly wanted them all to make it out alive. I grew attached to them and wanted to hang out with them. My favorite would be Parker (Perfectly played by Emma Bell, more on her later). She was adorable and sweet and cute, and is the type of girl any guy would dream to have. Her boyfriend Dan (Kevin Zegers) is cute and cool and they had some good scenes together, but it is Lynch (Shawn Ashmore) who steals the show. He plays the pothead best friend of Dan and was the cause of a few smiles to my face.
What really worked about this film, is they so easily could've given us cliched melodrama or stock characters, but Green wrote a wonderful script with developed characters and legit drama. Dan and Lynch used to be best friends, but ever since Parker came into their life they don't see much of each other anymore and Lynch feels replaced. But they don't play Parker as a bitch. They play her as a genuine sweetheart who actually feels bad and Lynch does like her, and Dan is torn between the two. It's the relationships between these three that kept invested in the film.
But without the right actors, the film wouldn't have worked. The whole film is basically these three people. Shawn Ashmore is a dreadfully underrated actor and is a favorite of mine so he was great in the role. Kevin Zegers was good as Dan. But it is Emma Bell who blew me away. Color me impressed. She really gave a brilliant performance for a horror film and at one crucial scene even got me to tear up because of her emotion. It seems like Bell really gave it her all in this performance, and I hope to see WAY more of this actress in the future. (I got my wish - She is the female lead in Final Destination 5).
Adam Green's directing is impeccable and he really ties into the claustrophobia and the fear in this film. I was on the edge of my seat and I got genuinely terrified through this film. It was very tense and I honestly had NO idea who would survive or if anyone would for that matter! This was a film where I could see everyone dying, so I was always on the verge of having a heart attack. Green gave a very mature direction and it is very different from the feeling of Hatchet. I also must give him props for no CGI and no soundstage. Everything is shot in the bitter cold on a real chair lift. It really added to the realism and made me shiver down to my bones. The score to the film was beautiful and reeled me in deeper and really complimented the film perfectly. I actually want to own this film.
Plus we get a nifty cameo by Kane Hodder and in the end we have a GREAT horror film, and what may now be my favorite horror film of 2010, if NOT my favorite film of 2010 period. I adored the film!

OVERALL GRADE: 10/10

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Cast:
Gary Oldman/Dracula
Winona Ryder/Mina
Anthony Hopkins/Van Helsing
Keanu Reeves/Jonathan Harker
Sadie Frost/Lucy

Plot: This version of Dracula is closely based on Bram Stoker's classic novel of the same name. A young lawyer (Jonathan Harker) is assigned to a gloomy village in the mists of eastern Europe. He is captured and imprisoned by the undead vampire Dracula, who travels to London, inspired by a photograph of Harker's betrothed, Mina Murray. In Britain, Dracula begins a reign of seduction and terror, draining the life from Mina's closest friend, Lucy Westenra. Lucy's friends gather together to try to drive Dracula away. (IMDB)

Review:
Let me start with saying that this is one of my all time favorite vampire movies. And before you ask, yes I prefer this over the 1931 Dracula film as well. I will have to re watch the original and then review that one as well one day. But this review isn't about that film, it's about the 1992 film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, and what a film that is.
Lately I've been finding my self drawn to Gothic horror films that take place in older times (Interview with a Vampire is another film I've had a knack for lately). This film is beautifully shot and has a morbid gothic feel to it. I'm watching this film again right now, and I'm especially wooed by the weirdness factor that this film has going on. One of my favorite scenes in the film is when Harker is in the castle alone with Dracula and he cuts himself shaving and the title character takes the razor licks the blood. This scene along with many others enticed me.
I also loved the way they dealt with sexuality. It was both gratuitous but classy at the same time. I don't know how to describe it, but it really worked for the film. (Straight men will love the scene with Monica Bellucci as a naked bride). The violence was also on display. It wasn't overdone but it helped the film along. I loved the way Coppola handled all of these aspects. He added a certain grace to it.
The soundtrack was loud and gothic and worked for me and complimented the film perfectly and drew me more into this somber and creepy film.
But the most important is the character of Dracula himself. The film could've either been made or broken with a bad casting decision. Thankfully they casted a brilliant Gary Oldman in the role. I'm a BIG fan of this man's work and he is a favorite of mine, so it's nice to see him in a starring role. He blew the role out of the water. He humanized the character of Dracula without taking away his creepiness. The man is sympathetic but is still scary as fuck. He is enticing (my new favorite word) and deadly. He is sad and lonely and heartbroken but has a thirst for blood. Oldman really blew each facet of his character out of the park.
Which brings me to the other characters. This was one of my bigger flaws with the original film. Other than Dracula I didn't care much for the other characters. In this film, they casted a great Winona Ryder as Mina. She was beautiful and innocent as the lovely creature that Dracula has his eyes set on. I ADORED the subplot between Dracula and Mina. It was the heart of the film for me. She was drawn to him and scared of him at the same time. The other actor that stole the show was Anthony Hopkins. He has limited screen time as the legendary Van Helsing, but with what he got he really worked. Sadie Frost as Lucy also worked very well. At first I thought I was going to find her annoying, but she grew on me, and by the end I actually was feeling for her character. I also loved her three suitors.
Then we have Keanu Reeves...Honestly I'm not a fan. Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's not. He was OKAY in this film. He was definitely the weak link of the cast in my eyes. He just didn't have any charisma and didn't pull me into the part. I feel they could've casted someone better suited for the role. He didn't have much chemistry with Ryder and their love story (in general) didn't pull me in very much. But that one is more of a fault of the script. I actually felt MORE for the love between Dracula and Mina. They had more chemistry and I actually cared more for them then I did for Mina and Jonathan. My final nitpick is just that; it actually annoyed me how the vampires in this film can walk in the sunlight. It's no biggie, because they're still scary blood-thirsty monsters, but I prefer my vampires to burst into flames in sunlight. At least they don't sparkle...
But overall, I adore this film and almost everything about it. It's a brilliant film in my opinion and one of the best vampire films out there.

OVERALL GRADE: 9/10

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

Director: Chris Nahon
Cast:
Gianna Jun/Saya
Allison Miller/Alice
Liam Cunningham/Michael Harrison
Koyuki/Onigen

Plot: Saya, a kickass Japanese school girl fights vampires and demons in her school girl outfit and with her trusty samurai sword.

Review:
Have you ever wondered what it was like to get raped? No? Well you're about to find out with this film. I'm a HUGE fan of the 2000 anime of the same name. It was only 45 minutes long was bad ass with great action and one of the coolest heroines ever. So when I heard they were doing a live action film, saying I was stoked was an UNDERSTATEMENT. I couldn't fuckin' wait! I saw the trailer and it looked awesome!
Well I finally got around to seeing the film a few days ago. After the opening scene, which was pretty nifty, I was like this might not be too bad...but then the movie kept on going and I felt like crying in shame at how bad this film was. Everything that made the anime awesome was missing. The action set pieces ranged from mediocre to actually kinda cool to shitty. Mistake number one right there. The action wasn't all that thrilling except for maybe one or two scenes. I was bored for most of the film. That should NOT be the feeling during a gory action film with samurai swords and awesome vampires. I should NOT be bored!
You must be asking well if there is gore, it can't be all that bad. Well you're wrong. Wait till you see the gore in this film. This film might single handily have the WORST CGI I've ever seen. They never heard of the less is more rule. They use CGI for everything from the demons (which look corny and fake and took me out of the film) to the blood. That blood, oh wow! The blood was done so badly it didn't even LOOK like blood. It looked like black goobs that shot out of the body. What the hell?! Are you serious movie? BLOOD IS RED! Can't you get ONE thing right? At first I let that go, thinking maybe that is what demon blood is like...then when humans began to bleed like that...that is when I knew it was ALL bad.
I don't even remember the soundtrack or the score, so I guess it wasn't HORRIBLE, but it wasn't memorable and some of the editing got on my nerves. They needed a new editor.
Most of acting was bad, or it might have JUST been the bad writer. I couldn't decide if this was a case of bad actors or bad dialogue and script. I will be the nice guy for this review and blame it on the latter.
Then we had the character of Alice. Why was she hear again? No seriously...Why?! She added absolutely nothing to the film...like AT ALL! She could have been written out or killed off and the movie wouldn't have changed ONE BIT! Plus her character was annoying and she took away screen time from Saya, you know our main character. I didn't care about this Alice chick. I wanted to see Saya kicking ass! I don't care about this girl. And why was EVERYONE out to kill her? This film had a knack for either OVER-explaining or UNDER-explaining. With the character of Alice it was the latter. In the words of the GREAT Nostalgia Critic: "EXPLAIN MOVIE EXPLAIN!"
Along with her we got MANY other pointless characters that took away from the action and our main character. Again, why were so many of these characters needed? All I wanted was Saya.
Which brings me to the main woman herself, Saya. Did they at least do her right. I am VERY proud to say she is the ONE saving grace of the film. She was beautiful and perfectly captured the character of the anime. She really knew how to kick that ass (even if I couldn't TOTALLY buy her as an action heroine, but I let that one go). I was having fun when ever her character was on screen. Saya is just a great character and Gianna Jun was great as her and saved the movie from being a TOTAL disaster.
Plus I liked some of the directing and the film had an overall glossy look to it that I appreciated. And not ALL the action scenes were terrible. There was one with Saya versus a WHOLE lotta vampires outside the bar that actually got me to perk up and got me invested in the scene.
But overall, this film was akin to getting raped up the ass...with a sandpapery broom stick. yeah...that is what this film was like O_o. I'll stick to the anime.

OVERALL GRADE: 4/10

Piranha 3D (2010)

Director: Alexandre Aja
Cast:
Elisabeth Shue/Julie
Steven R. McQueen/Jake
Adam Scott/Novak
Kelly Brook/Danni
Ving Rhames/Fallon
Jerry O'Connell/Derrick
Jessica Szohr/Kelly
Christopher Lloyd/Goodman

Plot: Dumb college kids on spring break are being eaten by killer prehistoric piranha. It is up to hot-to-trot Sheriff Julie and her teenage son Jake to stop these killer fish.

Review:
I love gore. Let me restate: I love me some BLOODY BLOODY VIOLENCE =D Hell yeah! This film gave us enough gore to satisfy AND then some! =D
This was a fun film, nothing more and nothing less and it didn't pretend to be anything else! This film was like being on spring break and was the perfect way to end my summer. This and Scott Pilgrim was the most fun I had in theatres ALL summer! Piranha 3D wasn't original and was pretty predictable but it didn't bother me even when I knew what was going to happen next. I was too busy having a good time to care.
The set up was pretty nifty with the spring break and I actually liked a majority of the characters. Usually I would complain about lack of character development, but this film didn't need it. All I needed were some likable characters played by good actors and I was good. That is exactly what we got. Elisabeth Shue as Sheriff Julie is still gorgeous and was great in the film. She really bulked up and got buff for the role. I've never seen her so badass before. Then we got the equally gorgeous Adam Scott playing against type as the cool action scientist hero who got me to have a crush on him. Ving Rhames is ALWAYS awesome and the GORGEOUS Kelly Brook stole my gay heart as Danni, a wild wild girl. She quickly became my favorite and was mighty fine! But it was Jerry O'Connell who stole the movie. He played a seedy director and he had fun with the role! I've never been a fan of his, but he was freakin' AWESOME in this role! But my biggest surprises were the two teen lovebirds Jake and Kelly. Steven R. McQueen and Jessica Szohr were both pretty good and likable. Their subplot was pretty predictable and has been done COUNTLESS times before. He's a hot hip nerd who is in love with the popular cute girl. She obviously likes him but he doesn't see it. It has a very been there-done that quality but for some reason I still couldn't help but get into it. They had great chemistry and I couldn't stop saying aw at some of their moments.
For the straight guys in the audience (which is what the film was aimed at), they'll LOVE the countless nudity from pretty much almost every woman in this film including the drop dead beautiful Kelly Brook. You guys will LOVE the "underwater ballet."
But don't worry the ladies and us gay dudes also get some nice loving from all the hot shirtless guys and we even get to see a couple bare asses. My favorite guy would have to be McQueen as Jake. He was my type =]
Which brings me to my favorite part THE GORE! This is a film where it is all about the red stuff and I was NOT disappointed. Going in I was afraid it'll be all CGI, but THANKFULLY the gore was done MOSTLY practically. YES!!! It was astounding and beautiful. The piranhas were done CGi, but they WORKED. I'm a HATER of CGI, but these piranhas looked awesome! They did great work creating them.
The spring break attack on the teens was a scene for the BOOKS!!! And I cannot wait for the director's cut (if there is one) because I definitely noticed scenes that were not in the film that were in the trailer (I was So looking forward to the jet ski scene with Adam Scott where it flips).
Alex Aja has really been becoming my favorite director and this film is just BEAUTIFUL to look at. He treats every film as art and is the MOST ballsy guy working in Hollywood now! I can't wait to see his next horror film. The cinematography was gorgeous and I just wanted to be on Spring Break there. And Alex Aja was EVEN able to get a LOT of suspense and tension out of this film which is usually absent from horror films of this ilk.
Plus there are the cameos! Richard Dreyfuss plays his character from Jaws, and my mouth FELL open once he came onto the screen and Christopher Lloyd had fun with the role and chewed the scenery and I had a blast watching him. (Plus it made me laugh how he had a random piranha fossil with him).
I can't stop raving about this film. But I do have some issues. First of all, why were those two kids in the film? I could have done with out them. They got on my nerves BIG time! Plus Elisabeth Shue really was badass in this film, but I wanted MORE of her. I felt like they didn't give her a total a lot to do. Plus there was some of the stupid character moves, but this is a horror film so I let it go, and I don't even remember the score...but I did like the techno music I'm not gonna lie.
In the end, I had a BLAST with the film. The gore, the fun characters, the gore, the directing, the GORE! Plus you had some AMAZING stunt set pieces, great tension and suspense, and you got my favorite horror film of the year right along with Shutter Island.

GO SEE IT!

OVERALL GRADE: 9/10

High Tension (2004)

Director: Alexandre Aja
Cast:
Cecile De France/Marie
Maiwenn Le Besco/Alex
Philippe Nahon/The Killer

Plot: Two college girls (hehe, yeah right) are traveling to a secluded house in the middle of nowhere to visit Alex's family to have some nice study time. But when a raving psycho killer butches Alex's family and kidnaps her it is up to Marie to chase after the killer to save her best friend. Will she get to her friend in time or pay for it big time.

Review:
Warning: This review will be mostly gushing! This IS my all time favorite movie. So don't expect too much criticism, if any at all.
Now that that is out of the way. I still remember watching this film in 2005 (or was it 2004). I was 14 and this was towards the earlier stages of my obsession with horror films. I remember getting into all the old horror films from the 70s and 80s and I worked my way through the ENTIRE horror section at Blockbuster, until there was nothing left. But sadly there weren't too many horror films in theatres (well good ones). Then this French film came out of nowhere to bitch slap me across the face, kick me in the balls, and spank me until I called my Mommy.
This film IS an exercise on suspense and tension. From the first frame until the final second (those final frames were AMAZING) I was on the edge of my seat praying that the two girls survive. I was biting my nails in anticipation. Alexandre Aja started off on the right foot by giving us two likable women to root for. Marie was intelligent and was bad ass. Alex was more of a crier...but she spent most of the movie chained up in a van, so can you really blame her? Once the chains came off, she became a fighter as well. The tension was jacked up because I WANTED these girls to survive. I cared about them.
Then we have the killer. He was one scary fucker! He legit terrified me in an old pervert kind of way. I wound't want my worst enemy around this man...okay that is a lie. I'd send them into the back of his van in a heartbeat.
What set this slasher apart from others as well is how it isn't just dumb teens running through the woods (although I DO love those films). It's a family that is being slaughtered so that jacks of the stakes as well. They even have the balls to kill a child. I love Alex Aja. I think I want him to marry me...just saying. He must have HUGE balls to make a film like this.
Speaking of the Aja, his directing was...mind blowing. The film FELT like it was from the 70s. It was gritty, disturbing, and not since John Carpenter has a man been able to generate so much suspense and tension. I think this film almost gave me a heart attack by the end.
The deaths were brutal, violent, gory, and bloody as hell! The movie was messy! That's a good thing! Not many films can balance gore and suspense. They either go for the scares or the gore. This film went for both and it MORE than succeeded! The gore actually HELPED the movie.
To go along with the three amazing characters, we got three amazing actors. Phillipe Nahon (sorry if I spelled that wrong) was terrifying as the Killer, while Maiwenn was heartbreaking as Alex. I really felt for her and would never want to go through what she went through. But the actor to impress me most would have to be Cecile De France. She reached so many emotional levels that many actors/actresses in horror couldn't pull off and she reached them. She wasn't the MOST developed character, but she was so easy to root for and she is one of my favorite heroines. Plus she ain't bad to look at.
Anything else I can say? What about the soundtrack! One word: Brilliant. This is the movie that also introduced me to my favorite band, Muse. The score was brilliant and helped add towards the tension. I really wish this was released on CD. I'd buy it!
To wrap this all in a nice bow, we got a bloody and scary as fuck horror/slasher film with a likable heroine and great scares.
But I just want to note one thing. Many people do not like the ending. I'm NOT one of those people. I love the ending, because it elevates it from a simple slasher film. It becomes something more psychological and I love this film, ending and all.
If I had to REALLY nitpick, the guys were NOT that great looking. There wasn't one in sight. Couldn't they have given Alex another brother, maybe a cute one...in his mid to late twenties or so...with a great body and glasses =P lol JK The dudes and lesbians got a GREAT looking heroine in Marie, but the ladies and us gay dudes get shite. But that is just nitpicking. Eye candy doesn't make a good movie.
Again, I LOVE this movie! It's a blast from beginning to end and is scary as hell. If you want to be scared, I say watch this French masterpiece (yes I called it a masterpiece, sue me!).

OVERALL GRADE: 10/10

Splintered (2008)

Director: Simeon Halligan

CAST:
Holly Weston/Sophie
Stephen Walters/Gavin
Sadie Pickering/Jane
Jonathan Readwin/Dean
Sacha Dhawan/Sam
Sol Heras/John

PLOT:
Five young friends (three guys and two girls) set off into the woods to find the mysterious beast that has been killing animals. But when one of their own is kidnapped the rest of the group goes off to find her as they are killed off one by one.

BREAKDOWN:
I’m going to start off with this statement, this movie is not original or even amazing…but I still loved it. It’s your basic slasher film plot – five friends in the woods and they are each killed off. But when we’re in a sorry state of horror, any new horror film that isn’t a remake I automatically give points too. Of course this film is from the UK. The US doesn’t believe in original horror anymore, so we have to find our horror elsewhere. Lately it’s been France that has been creating the best horror films. My favorite movie of all time is a French film called Haute Tension (High Tension).
But back to Splintered. It’s a little known slasher flick that was VERY hard to track down. It is not on DVD or even online (I know shame on me for looking, but I was desperate!). There is almost nothing about it on IMDB and it doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. When I saw the trailer I was curious. I found it on television late at night and I watched it in one sitting. At the end of the film, I wasn’t taken aback or given anything to think about, but we all know my favorite genre of film is the slasher film. The 80’s slasher films are my favorite, so it’s always nice to see a good slasher film.
I loved the directing to the film. It was very washed out and used a lot of dark blue and grey hues. It gave the film almost a Gothic feeling to it. There was always a feeling of dread with each frame of the movie and that upped the suspense.
The soundtrack was decent. It has been a while, but I remember liking it, but it was a bit generic at points, but it wasn’t a horrible musical score.
The cast was actually pretty good. The five teens were decent and well acted. There wasn’t much character development, but the actors made me care with their likable performances. The standout would be Holly Weston as Sophie, our heroine. She was my anchor to the film and she pulled me in the moment she was onscreen. She is beautiful, likable, and gave a great performance. I was really rooting for her to survive the entire movie. We don’t get too many great heroines these days, so it’s nice to have another awesome heroine to add to the list. Sophie was a really smart character who while held captive, didn’t just sit back and wait to be saved. She tried every form of escape she could think of and she was a real fighter. She was smart and took everything into her own hands. She was what made the movie for me.
The rest of the cast held their own. I found Stephen Walters to be effective and creepy as (the is he or is he not the killer) Gavin. The other four teens were decent. They didn’t really stand out though. More character development would have heightened the stakes of them. We didn’t really learn too much about the other four, which is a shame. But I still found a way to like them. That girl who played Jane though has a GREAT scream.
The violence was okay. They got the job done with some nice bloody kills. There was a GREAT stabbing in the eye, a sweet bloody impaling, and some bitten necks, but I couldn’t help craving more gore. But what I got was still pretty wicked.
I also loved how the heroine, Sophie had a past. It added more to the film and made it a little bit more than JUST a slasher film. It added to her character arc and worked on me.
Again the movie isn’t perfect. Like I said outside of Sophie, the other four teens could’ve used more character development to make me care about them more. We didn’t learn too much so in my end, I only really truly gave a damn about Sophie (again good job girl!). There was one rather stupid dream sequence where one character wakes up in the car alone, which makes no sense. Why would his/her friends leave them alone with all the doors open? It was too obvious that it was a dream sequence. There were also some dumb character moves, like finding a dead carcass so they decide to venture deeper to see what did it. STUPID MOVE!
My biggest gripes though are with the ending. The ending fell apart for me. A priest was thrown into the film out of nowhere, and I could’ve done without him. He added absolutely nothing to the movie and didn’t make much sense to me. Another character twist was thrown in and it lessened the stakes for me, because I found Gavin to be a creepy man and when the other character was thrown in I found him to be more ridiculous then scary, which is a shame. Also when Sophie goes up against the killer she screams “I am not a virgin” and it lessens the impact of the scene because what could have been a serious scene becomes kind of stupid with her screaming that, but there IS a nice chase scene before the scene and there is some decent gore. I’ll just say this: a crucifix is put to good use. Also at the end police officers and paramedics appear out of nowhere! Where did they come from and where did they know where to be? I don’t remember anyone calling them but then again it has been a while since I last saw the movie. I found this to be a plot hole that annoyed me.
But overall I had a great time with the movie. I had a lot of flaws with the film but it couldn’t stop me from enjoying this movie. I hope to see it released one day because I want to own this DVD. I loved the movie. I wonder though if we weren’t in such a sorry state of horror films, if I would’ve loved it so much. The answer is I probably would have given it a lower rating, but who knows. I recommend the movie.

OVERALL GRADE: 8.5/10

Fritt Vilt (2006)

DIRECTOR: Roar Uthaug
CAST:
Ingrid Bolsø Berdal/Jannicke
Rolf Kristian Larsen/Morten Tobias
Tomas Alf Larsen/Eirick
Endre Martin Midtstigen/Mikal
Viktoria Winge/Ingunn

PLOT:
Five young snowboarders take shelter in an abandoned ski lodge, after one of their friends breaks their legs. But you know how these movies work, the place is already occupied, and they’re about to regret their decision of staying there.

BREAKDOWN:
Fritt Vilt, or Cold Prey as it is known here in the states, is one wild ride. I’ve seen this movie countless times already and I have it playing again on my DVD player. I decided to write up a review for the Norwegian film. The movie is your basic slasher film and that is what I love about it. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else. It’s a brutal slasher film and that is what it is.
The movie starts off on the right back with a gripping and eerie opening scene. You don’t exactly know what is going on and that makes it all the more creepy and then the film takes another right step by introducing us to our main group of friends. They are five young friends just looking for a fun day of snowboarding. They are likable and the movie actually spends time to DEVELOP them…GASP!!! When a slasher film develops their characters and makes them likable, it can make a film so much better and really heightens the stakes. These weren’t just a bunch of stereotyped models. The cast was good-looking yes…DAMN were they good looking. ;-)…but they looked like real people too and they acted like them. They were nice yet flawed people. I really got behind these people, especially Jannicke.
Jannicke is a heroine we haven’t seen in a while (not including Christine from Drag Me to Hell). She’s a nice normal chick who is smart, vulnerable, and tough and will fight to survive while trying to help her friends along the way. She isn’t selfish…a lot of the characters actually aren’t selfish. They all try to help each other survive. But it has been a while since we have seen such a great heroine in a horror film. She definitely has been added to my list as top heroines. The actress behind her was solid as well. She was up to the task…and she was perfect! I adored her. I also had a bit of a crush on the guy who played her boyfriend; I’m not going to lie. He was adorable. The entire cast was in top shape. They each played their role perfectly and got me to care for them. I actually WANTED these people to survive, so when they bought it, I cared.
The movie did take a while to get going, but that was okay with me because I was invested in the main characters and I liked just hanging out with them and having fun…and seeing the boys without their shirts on. I especially loved that part. They had some hot bodies. The boy who played Eirick, call me =). But once the first death scene happened, I was floored! I tensed up like a little baby and I finally knew I was in for a vicious ride.
Onto the death scenes. The movie wasn’t particularly gory, but you WILL see blood. The death scenes were well shot, brutal, violent, and were gripping of suspense. I’ve heard a lot of people complain the film wasn’t gory enough, but it didn’t bother me, because the film was gripping of suspense throughout the entire show. It was atmospheric and the cinematography was beautiful. I hate snow, but on film it always manages to look gorgeous.
The directing was amazing and I loved the blue-grey hue the film had. The film itself was creepy. I actually got scared at some points. I tensed up many times.
The soundtrack was badass! The score really went with the movie well and when they used the metal rock tunes, they kicked major ass.
Any complaints? Yeah I have a few, nothing major though. The movie didn’t break any new ground. It’s the same thing that has been done many times…but that didn’t bother me so much. The movie WAS a bit predictable, like I knew who was going to survive from the moment I saw him/her. But that didn’t take away from the suspense of the film. My last minor complaint is that the character who breaks their leg…during some scenes it seems like he forgot he broke his leg because he was just hopping like it was a sprained ankle or something.
But I let all this go for the fun of the film. This is one of the best times I’ve had in a while. My favorite type of movie is the slasher film. And we don’t get too many good ones anymore (not including All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, I LOVE that fuckin’ movie. It’s one of my favorites!!!). When I say my final rating, you might think it will be too giving of me…but in this state of shit-tastic kiddy horror films and remakes, it was nice to see a TRUE horror/slasher film again.

OVERALL GRADE: 9/10