My Soul to Take (2010)

Directed by: Wes Craven
Cast: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Emily Meade,

Plot: The same night the Riverton Ripper is killer, his soul goes into seven newborn children. Years later someone is killing off these kids one by one. Is the Riverton Ripper back, or is it one of the seven kids. Is Wes Craven back from the grave with a new opus? Sadly no...

Review:
I weep tonight for Wes Craven. He was once a great horror aficionado who was making great films. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and SCREAM are two of my favorite films. I believe A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) to be a literal masterpiece and is the best film to come out of the 80s. Sadly somewhere over time he disappeared and when he was tackling MY SOUL TO TAKE, I was stoked. Wes Craven doing another slasher flick – COUNT ME IN!!! Then…the trailer hit. I was underwhelmed…and then the reviews came in and my heart was breaking. But I was still going to give it a chance. I don’t always agree with the masses (example: Rob Zombie’s Halloween II). A while back I got my hands on the script and to say it was mediocre would be an understatement. It was absolute shit. I finally got the nerve to watch the film tonight (most of it) and…every opinion I had of the script is the same for the finished picture. Let’s dissect Craven’s newest film; I guess if you want to call it that – a film.
Where do I begin? The terribly written characters, the dumb ass dialogue, the ridiculous situations…We’ll start with the characters. These have to be some of the blandest and most boring characters I’ve seen in a slasher film in a long time. They didn’t interest me or evoke any sympathy from me. Hell, they didn’t even make me hate them enough to want them to die. I just didn’t care. Strike one for this film. I didn’t care about one person in this film. At times this film even felt like a parody of a slasher flick as opposed to an actual slasher flick. We have our young hero of Bug, who is so inconsistent it is ridiculous. Everything about him just made no sense. Why did he behave like such a child? At one point when his friend curses he states that he said a bad word and towards the end…he gets the shit beaten out of him by his Goth sister! How am I supposed to root for this guy? This is our lame hero! He acts like a damn two year old. Then his sister is such a bitch to the point where she got annoying, but she gets some points (and I stress some) for being the most interesting character. Her past was actually kind of intriguing and I would like to have seen more of that. But that isn’t much, because she still was lacking a personality, which seems to be a trait of everyone in this town. Personality must be outlawed in Riverton.
Then we have the inane scenes, which were so stupid that they came out of nowhere and made absolutely no sense. The scene where Bug mimics his friend down to the every move: what was that about exactly? It came out of nowhere, added nothing to the plot, and the film never explained this…again…what? They kept adding dumb scenes like this to make us think Bug is the killer, but these scenes made no sense and dumbed down the film even more so, and I thought that was an impossible task because this film was pretty dumb to begin with. Then we have the ATROCIOUS dialogue. The things these kids say are horrible! It felt like it was written by an old man pretending to be a kid when he doesn’t know how a kid speaks…oh wait! Now it all makes sense, because that IS what went down. Next time Wes Craven, have someone write your dialogue. I’ve never heard any teenager speak like any of the kids in this film and you can trust me because I am only twenty. So I was a teenager only a few months ago.
On a technical level this film didn’t fare much better. Wes Craven is a great director with a great eye, but this film felt flat to me. I didn’t notice any style whatsoever. If you told me Craven directed this, I would not have believed you! The score was forgettable – legit I already forgot it and the soundtrack was forgettable as well. It was just your basic pop/rock songs that every teen film has.
And is it just I, but for an R-rated slasher film, it felt very PG-13 to me. Yeah the stabbings were slightly bloody…but they weren’t that bad at all. This film just felt like a PG-13 film with some curse words involved. If they got rid of the cursing, I guarantee this would have gotten that dreaded PG-13 rating. The kills were boring anyway. It was the same each time. Everyone was pretty much stabbed in the stomach or back. Not one death scene was interesting. The chase scenes were boring and let me talk about the killer a bit. He looked ridiculous, he was not scary, and the fact he could disappear/reappear makes no sense, when you see the twist ending. Oh and he says fuckin’ Boo!
The film’s ending also made no sense to me, and if I actually sat down to think about this film (which I don’t plan to do more of), I am positive I could find so many plot holes, I could drive the Titanic AND the iceberg that sunk the Titanic through the plot hole.
You must be asking yourself: “Do I have anything good to say about this?” Yes, I found some stuff to like. I actually like the initial plot of the film – a killer is killed the same night seven babies are born and his seven personalities go into each child, and one child may get his killer personality. I like the idea of that. It’s interesting and unique, but the film didn’t elaborate on this. Instead, it felt like A Nightmare on Scream Street. If you put those two films into a blender…it would shit out this film. I digress; I’m here to talk about the good now, well the little good that there is. The opening scene was interesting and actually had some style and it was a nifty and entertaining scene. It wasn’t particularly scary, but it actually had style and Abel was a creepy guy. The character of Fang (seriously what is with these names?! Bug and Fang?) has an interesting past, and I wish that was elaborated on more…and I will give the film this. The actors weren’t terrible. They were boring, but I felt like that was more the fault of the script and I could see some talent in a few of the actors, if they had a better script that is. The acting was decent, and I did like that the teenagers looked like actual teenagers. No college age kids or thirty-year-olds were casted in this film. Real teens were casted. That was a nice idea. And last but not least, the film was so bad, I couldn’t help but laugh AT it. Again, the scene where Fang beats up Bug – FUNNY stuff.
If you can’t tell I hated this movie, then you must be on drugs. I have not been so disappointed in a film in a long time. I was hoping for this to be Wes Craven’s comeback…but instead I got shit. I lost more hope (of the little I had) for SCREAM 4…God help us all…

Grade: 3/10

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

Directed by: Marcos Efron
Cast: Amber Heard, Odette Yustman, and Karl Urban

Plot: Two girls are biking through Argentina until they get into a fight and one girl leaves. When she returns, her friend has gone missing and now it is upto Stephanie (Amber Heard) to figure out what happened and to piece everything together...but who can she trust?

Review:
Another day, another remake - but thankfully today it is a good remake. The original And Soon the Darkness was a well done nifty little thriller about two British women in France. It was a nifty, but very flawed film. This remake places two (sexy as fuck) American women in Argentina. It was a nice change to help differentiate from the original. Our two main characters are Stephanie (Amber Heard) and Ellie (Odette Yustman). Stephanie is a responsible smart woman who likes to stay on track, while Ellie is a wild party girl that would rather have sex than look at the sights. The characters aren't anything new, but each actress brought to their roles a certain spark to make me care. Because I cared, that helped the suspense.
Especially Amber Heard; she is a fantastic young actress who should be a much bigger star by now. She was fantastic in the role and really had me with her character the entire film. I wanted her to find Ellie and to get out of this situation alive.
The movie was BEAUTIFULLY shot. The director really used the Argentina landscape to its fullest, especially in the early shots of the film. This was a gorgeous film to look at and he made me want to be there in Argentina. To go along with this, the film also had a pretty well-done score. It wasn't anything amazing, but it got the job done, and I think it backed up the visuals very nicely. Well done Tomandandy.
The film as it goes on, really becomes different from the original, and that was the best way to go. We don't need another shot-by-shot remake. The second half of the film is completely different from the original. They added more action and one twist was completely changed (having to do with the friend) and I liked these changes. Since it was becoming different from the original, it added more suspense since I was curious with what they were going to do. Plus the chase scenes rocked and Amber Heard became more badass as the movie went on.
Some people might complain about the lack of gore/violence, but this film isn't about that. It is all about generating suspense and tension...and the film succeeded half the time. Half the time I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see Amber Heard get through her newest obstacle.
The film is no where near perfect though. Like the original, this film is equally flawed. My biggest issue would probably be that this film really is quite predictable. I saw every twist coming and I was never surprised by anything truly. This didn't help, because for half the film I was on the edge of my seat...but that was only for the ending. For the first big part of the film, I was just there and I was enjoying it...but I felt nothing. Then we had all the townspeople. They were there for only two reasons: to scowl and mug for the camera and to ignore our heroine. That is it. They were supposed to be obvious red herrings, but it wasn't needed since the twists were obvious anyway. This dumbed down the film quite a bit I will not lie. Karl Urban was completely wasted. He was good in the film, but his character brought nothing, and they should have done more with him because he is a great actor (hot too). It is a shame. I liked what they had for his character...if only they went farther.
In the end though, this is a predictable thriller that brings nothing new to the table, but I still had a good time.

VERDICT: 6/10

Let Me In (2010)

Directed by: Matt Reeves
Cast: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Elias Koteas, Cara Buono


Plot: A lonely 12-year-old boy falls in love with a lonely 12-year-old girl. The girl turns out to be a vampire and she needs blood to live…

Review:
Vampires have always been a subgenre of horror I’ve adored ever since I was a kid. They are beautiful, but deep down they are monsters. They live a lonely life full of guilt and pain…and then Twilight happened. Oh how I LOATHE that series. It does not deserve the word saga. It butchered everything I love about vampires by making them more like beautiful superheroes. They were not monsters and showed how perfect their lives were. They were rich, they didn’t need to feed on people…and they sparkled. This film showed vampires the way they should be – as truly tortured monsters.
I should start off by saying that this is a remake of a truly superb Swedish flick known as Let the Right One In. That was a beautiful film that boasted a fantastic performance from its lead female. The film was flawed, but it is still a favorite of mine (10/10). When a remake was announced, I was not happy, but now I’ve finally gotten to see the remake…and goddamn this film was as good as the original!
This film did not gloss over the life of a vampire. Abby’s life is tough, lonely, and full of blood. When she feeds, you can see the monster inside of her force itself out to show its face. She seems like an innocent young girl, but she is a truly mature monster on the inside. I was afraid they would try to lighten the movie for the Twilight audience, but I am proud to say they did not. Even though this film is a love story at its heart, it is a horror film through and through.
The violence and the blood were plentiful and I was very much pleased on this end, but the love story…really got me. It got me in the original too, but I don’t know what it was I was MORE affected in this remake. I think it has to do with the fact they focused more on their relationship in this film. My sole qualm with the original was a subplot dealing with the older group of friends. Their role was boring and took me out of the film and I feel not much was done with them. In this remake their plight was taken out, and instead we got a policeman to follow around (VERY well played by Elias Koteas). This was a better idea, because I got more attached to him, then all the people in the original. Then we had the characters of Owen and Abby. Owen was more likable in this remake than Oskar was in the original. I liked Oskar, but Owen has this quality that made me want to hug him non stop. Abby was done in a more ambiguous way than Eli in the original. In the original, you know she was in love with Oskar. At first I did not know how to take the way they did Abby. But after much thinking about it, I adore the ambiguity of her character. We never truly know where she is coming from. Is she really in love with Owen, or is she just using him and nothing more? We never get a true answer to this question.
Another thing I love is the way they treated Owen’s parents. In the original he had a good mother who loved him and a father who was non-existent. In this remake, his mother was barely there and we didn’t even see her face for the bulk of the film. I liked this idea as it helped us feel just how lonely he is. It brought us into his world and how he felt. It is like we felt the loneliness more of him in this film.
It would be a sin if I didn’t mention the acting. Kodi Smit-McPhee gave a FANTASTIC performance as Owen. He was very affable and really made me feel for him. He had great chemistry with Chloe Moretz as Abby. I’ll get to her last though. The adults of the film all did a wonderful job, with Richard Jenkins standing out as the sad old man in love with the young girl. Onto Chloe Moretz! I cannot rave enough about her. Her performance was astounding. I’ve seen some good child performances in my life, but damn! I have never seen such a tour-de-force performance like this from a child before. Chloe blew my mind. She was likable, scary, and nefarious all in one. She was able to emote each facet of Abby’s personality and created a three-dimensional character like no other. I might have to say she was even better than Lina Leandersson in the original. Chloe reminded me of a young Natalie Portman circa Leon: The Professional.
The directing was fantastic. J.J. Abrams did a wonderful job, although he did copy a lot of shots from the original. I liked that he didn’t copy it exactly though. He got rid of some of my flaws and added a few of his own takes that really worked. I liked how he opened the film differently by bringing us right into the action and grabbing our attention. The musical score to this film was astounding as well and really helped deliver the emotion.
In the end, it is the love story that makes this film. The relationship between two lonely children grabbed at my heart and grinded it into dust. Their story broke my heart, but made me smile at the same time. What really works is that these are fully developed characters. They aren’t perfect human beings. These are children who live a tough life and are more mature beyond their years. Again, is Abby a monster? Yes and no. She really is just a scared young girl still, but something evil lies within her. Is Owen a good person? Who knows? Did Abby really love Owen? We never get the true answer, but since I’m a romantic I like to believe that yes she does love him.
I just cannot stop gushing over this film. Did I have any flaws? Not many. I do have to say that I wish the film wasn’t SO similar to the original. But it is no big deal, because the original really is an almost perfect film. This film kept all the best parts of the original and did add its own twist to some aspects. Some of the CGI was a bit hokey but I was never truly taken out of the film. Although I do have to say there was one subplot revealed towards the end of Let the Right One In about Eli, that I felt was really interesting and unique. It was unsurprisingly taken out of this remake. I thought it was a good twist, but I’m not surprised it was deleted because studios probably thought it was too risqué. One last mini flaw I have is, that I felt the scene where Abby/Eli comes in uninvited was done better in the original. Not the worst sin, but it had to be said.
All these flaws though can’t stop me from giving this film a perfect rating. The original is one of my all time favorites, and I have to say this remake is tied with that film. I love them both equally. Will you let this film in?

GRADE: 9/10

Twilight (2008)

Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Cast:
Kristen Stewart/Bella
Robert Pattinson/Edward
Billy Burke/Charlie
Ashley Greene/Alice

Plot: Bella is a new girl in Forks. She is pale and "unique" and totally different from everyone else...obviously. She meets pale Edward and instantly falls for him. But the catch is he is a vampire...that sparkles. Wait what? Here is the bigger surprise...I enjoy this film.

Review:
I've reviewed (and destroyed) both the sequels to this film, but I never actually got around to reviewing the film that started the series from hell, Twilight. Where does this film rank in the scheme of things: honestly, not that bad.
As bad as the sequels are, I have to say I DO like this film. Don't shoot me! I know it's not a great movie. I know it probably isn't even a good movie, but I can't help but like it anyway. This film is a guilty pleasure for me in every sense of the word. What about this film do I like so much?
Let me start with our main character of Bella! I know in both reviews of the sequels I bashed her and spoke about how she is one of the worst heroines to ever exist. And I'll still abide to that! I hate that fuckin' girl! BUT in this first film, I actually didn't hate her. I can't say I loved her either. But I thought she was likable enough. We never learn TOO much about her, but Kristen was very likable in the role and I believe added SOME depth to the character, whether it be a little thing like just listening to her iPod or carrying around pepper spray. It added some character traits to her. (In the shitty book, she has NONE! She even mentions at one point she hates music. How does one hate music?!). So right there is a small improvement from the book. Too bad the sequels made her more like the book character in the sequels.
Robert Pattinson was awkard in the role of Edward...and can someone please say miscasted?! Edward is supposed to be beautiful...I'm sorry, but Robert Pattinson is ugly as fuck. How are chicks interested in him? Sorry, it had to be said. His acting wasn't that great either. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't great. He was just okay, if not awkward in the role.
I also have to say, the love story won me over in this film (unlike the sequels). I fell for it. I found their awkward conversations kind of cute and their relationship did touch me for some reason. I couldn't help but smile at these two kids falling in love. In this film, Bella isn't her selfish bitch yet. Her world isn't ONLY Edward and she is actually somewhat independent. In the end, when she thinks her mother is kidnapped, she goes BY herself with pepper spray to save her from vampires. That is actually pretty cool I have to say. Usually she'd wait for Edward to save her, so I liked that they made her a bit independent in this film.
My favorite part of the film is her relationship with her father. It's awkward but cute. I liked the way they interacted and how they never knew what to say. Whenever the film was about them, I was loving it. I could have actually watched a film just about Bella moving in with her father.
Another plus is the high school environment that actually felt like a real high school. No cliques or stereotypes - just human beings. And it would be stupid of me not to bring up the best part of EVERY film: the soundtrack. The score is beautiful and movie chooses some kick ass songs. Is anyone surprised? This is the ONLY part each film excels at.
I think what really sets this film apart from the sequels is the director. This film is BEAUTIFUL to look at, and Hardwicke seems to have a firm handle on the romance and the action. Her indie roots really help this film and she seems to be trying to almost cover up the sappiness of the film. Good job!
But...the film isn't great. I mean, I know it's not. Again: guilty pleasure. Let me start off by saying sparkling vampires? Seriously? I don't care who you are, but that is NEVER EVER going to be a good idea. Fuckin' retarded! In the end, these are NOT vampires. They're superhero fairies. They sparkle, they run fast, and they look like abercrombie models. How can I be scared of these "monsters"? It doesn't help that the film glamorizes the lifestyle. Yes, I know True Blood does too but at least that show also portrays them as monsters and doesn't shy away from the blood. This film makes their lifestyle seem perfect. I like my vampires to be animalistic monsters thank you!
The Cullen clan wasn't explored enough for my liking. They were really only there as pretty faces. Although Alice is such a GREAT character! I get such a kick out of her first meeting with Bella and that kick she does when playing baseball. Someone give this character a spin off please! This all leads me to the bad guys of the flick. They were not scary...AT ALL. In fact I kind of found them funny. I should have been terrified by them, not wanting to laugh at them. Actually I found myself wanting to bang the blonde dude James at one point...yeah scary...whatever. It doesn't help the fact that their subplot just felt thrown in. It was kind of just there and didn't feel right and felt really rushed.
My last flaw is that a lot of the character development of Bella and Edward was sent to a booming soundtrack so we don't actually hear their conversations which is a shame, cause that would have made the film more meaty.
Overall, this film is a guilty pleasure for me. I know it is like the antithesis of horror films and vampires, but I can't help but like it anyway. I own this on dvd, but FUCK THE SEQUELS!!! Fuck both of them!

Overall Grade: 6/10

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Director: David Slade
Cast:
Kristen Stewart/Bella
Robert Pattinson/Edward
Taylor Lautner/Jacob
Ashley Greene/Alice
Jackson Rathbone/Jasper
Nikki Reed/Rosalie
Bryce Dallas Howard/Victoria
Xavier Samuel/Riley

Plot: A vapid bland teen falls in love with a sparkling fairy...sorry I mean vampire and a shirtless Abercrombie model (aka werewolf), but who is she to choose. Watch said bland teen dick around two equally bland guys. Oh and there is a war somewhere in there.

Review:
I’m going to start off by saying I don’t want to hate the Twilight series. I love romance. I love fantasy and action. I AM a Kristen Stewart fan. I am just trying to say, I am not a Twilight basher. I mean I DO bash the Twilight series, but that isn’t because it is stupid (that is one of the many reasons), I do it because it is BADLY written with lackluster character development, and is based on source material that could be used for toilet paper (aka Mormon propaganda). To say I’m not a fan is an understatement. But this leads me to this – I AM a fan of the first movie. I like it. Sue me. It wasn’t anything great but it hit my romantic bone just right. Then…the sequel came, New Moon and to say it was one of the worst pieces of shit would be an understatement. So I came into Eclipse with MAJOR hesitation (especially since I’ve read the books…UGH!) Was it better that New Moon? Yes it was.
But that isn’t saying much. This is NOT a good movie at all. Let me start off with the pros. OMG, isn’t that Edward HAWWWT?!?!?! Just kidding. Fuck that guy. But legit, as usual the musical score and the soundtrack is the BEST part of the film. They hire great composers who really bring some heart to these heartless films. The rock or pop songs they choose are also great. I own the soundtrack to every film. I love what they do with the music. The acting was also decent from all. I think Kristen Stewart is a decent actress who gets more flack than she deserves. (She was brilliant as Joan Jett). But it is the side characters that stole the show for me. Bella, Edward, and Jacob are NOT interesting to me. They’re fuckin’ boring; but more on that later. Everyone else though is quite interesting. Alice is fun and cute (I could watch an entire film about her) and Jasper and Rosalie really got some meat this time around. Their flashback scenes were well done and Rosalie’s was the BEST part of the movie. Why couldn’t that be the entire film? Her flashback was intense, well directed, well acted, and was interesting. Her one scene was more intense than the entire love story that has been spawning throughout each film. It also helps that Nikki Reed is a VERY talented young actress who should be a bigger star than what she is.
Another pro is that some of the action scenes were actually pretty cool. They were good enough to keep my interest; but I stress some. Plus, I have to say that I like the fact that Victoria finally had a bigger role. I like her character and if she was handled well, she could have been pretty bad-ass.
Plus I have to add, it was a smart move for this film to have it's tongue implanted in its cheek. There were a lot of clever lines (like when Edward asks if Jacob owns a laugh, if I said I didn't smirk at that I'd be lying). I also have to add that it was great too see one of my boyfriends in this films, Xavier Samuel. He gave a menacing/sexy performance with his limited scenes. Plus that little girl vampire was interesting. I wish they did more with her and her plight.
But now onto the bad…where do I start? I love David Slade. His directing for Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night was brilliant! He was a director to look out for, but other then some cool looking action scenes, this film was boring to look at. Some of the cinematography was okay, but where was the style he showed in his pre-mentioned films. Not here! Then we have the LAME love story. I LOVE a good romance, but this is NOT a good love story. Bella is one of the WORST characters ever written. She is not a role model for women and is a dependent man-needing whore who dicks around two equally bland men who could still do better than her dependent ass. Seriously, Bella is one of the most aggravating and worst written characters I’ve ever seen. They treat her like she is a DAMN martyr (that scene where she cuts herself with a rock), when in fact she is fuckin’ stupid. I’m sorry, but she is selfish. She does not care about her family. All she wants to do is become a vampire to be with Edward…but she doesn’t think about the fact that she’ll NEVER see her damn family again or her friends. She is vapid and doesn’t think about anything.
This brings me to another major fault with the love story. This whole film is the same damn conversation on repeat. “Bella marry me.” “Okay Edward. I love you. Make me a vampire.” “I can’t make you a vampire.” “But Jacob I love you as a friend.” “Bella I’m better.” “Jacob you look good without a shirt, now kiss me. I love Edward more.” And…repeat.
I will give the film this, it had some good ideas. I like the idea of the story the werewolf tribe told Bella and how they connected her to the story. But again, because she is such an unlikable character it did NOT work at all. If she was better developed and selfless, trying to make her seem like a martyr might not have been a horrible thing.
The "famous" tent scene was ridiculous by the way. The Arrow states that it is very homosexual between Edward and Jacob...and I have to agree! I felt MORE chemistry between them then I did between them and Bella...I'd watch that movie XD
Then we have the CGI. Man was it bad! I actually thought it was sort of decent in New Moon but it blew BIG time here! And the fact they made the vampires break like concrete was an interesting idea, but it was so obviously a cash out to get that PG-13 rating for the little tweens. Fuck them.
In the end, another sucky movie for the kids. Not fun. Not interesting. Boring as hell with unlikable and bland main characters. BUT the soundtrack is great, the side characters were interesting (seriously the movie should be about THEM and not the LAME love story), and some of the action was cool.

Overall Grade: 4/10