Director: David Slade
Cast:
Kristen Stewart/Bella
Robert Pattinson/Edward
Taylor Lautner/Jacob
Ashley Greene/Alice
Jackson Rathbone/Jasper
Nikki Reed/Rosalie
Bryce Dallas Howard/Victoria
Xavier Samuel/Riley
Plot: A vapid bland teen falls in love with a sparkling fairy...sorry I mean vampire and a shirtless Abercrombie model (aka werewolf), but who is she to choose. Watch said bland teen dick around two equally bland guys. Oh and there is a war somewhere in there.
Review:
I’m going to start off by saying I don’t want to hate the Twilight series. I love romance. I love fantasy and action. I AM a Kristen Stewart fan. I am just trying to say, I am not a Twilight basher. I mean I DO bash the Twilight series, but that isn’t because it is stupid (that is one of the many reasons), I do it because it is BADLY written with lackluster character development, and is based on source material that could be used for toilet paper (aka Mormon propaganda). To say I’m not a fan is an understatement. But this leads me to this – I AM a fan of the first movie. I like it. Sue me. It wasn’t anything great but it hit my romantic bone just right. Then…the sequel came, New Moon and to say it was one of the worst pieces of shit would be an understatement. So I came into Eclipse with MAJOR hesitation (especially since I’ve read the books…UGH!) Was it better that New Moon? Yes it was.
But that isn’t saying much. This is NOT a good movie at all. Let me start off with the pros. OMG, isn’t that Edward HAWWWT?!?!?! Just kidding. Fuck that guy. But legit, as usual the musical score and the soundtrack is the BEST part of the film. They hire great composers who really bring some heart to these heartless films. The rock or pop songs they choose are also great. I own the soundtrack to every film. I love what they do with the music. The acting was also decent from all. I think Kristen Stewart is a decent actress who gets more flack than she deserves. (She was brilliant as Joan Jett). But it is the side characters that stole the show for me. Bella, Edward, and Jacob are NOT interesting to me. They’re fuckin’ boring; but more on that later. Everyone else though is quite interesting. Alice is fun and cute (I could watch an entire film about her) and Jasper and Rosalie really got some meat this time around. Their flashback scenes were well done and Rosalie’s was the BEST part of the movie. Why couldn’t that be the entire film? Her flashback was intense, well directed, well acted, and was interesting. Her one scene was more intense than the entire love story that has been spawning throughout each film. It also helps that Nikki Reed is a VERY talented young actress who should be a bigger star than what she is.
Another pro is that some of the action scenes were actually pretty cool. They were good enough to keep my interest; but I stress some. Plus, I have to say that I like the fact that Victoria finally had a bigger role. I like her character and if she was handled well, she could have been pretty bad-ass.
Plus I have to add, it was a smart move for this film to have it's tongue implanted in its cheek. There were a lot of clever lines (like when Edward asks if Jacob owns a laugh, if I said I didn't smirk at that I'd be lying). I also have to add that it was great too see one of my boyfriends in this films, Xavier Samuel. He gave a menacing/sexy performance with his limited scenes. Plus that little girl vampire was interesting. I wish they did more with her and her plight.
But now onto the bad…where do I start? I love David Slade. His directing for Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night was brilliant! He was a director to look out for, but other then some cool looking action scenes, this film was boring to look at. Some of the cinematography was okay, but where was the style he showed in his pre-mentioned films. Not here! Then we have the LAME love story. I LOVE a good romance, but this is NOT a good love story. Bella is one of the WORST characters ever written. She is not a role model for women and is a dependent man-needing whore who dicks around two equally bland men who could still do better than her dependent ass. Seriously, Bella is one of the most aggravating and worst written characters I’ve ever seen. They treat her like she is a DAMN martyr (that scene where she cuts herself with a rock), when in fact she is fuckin’ stupid. I’m sorry, but she is selfish. She does not care about her family. All she wants to do is become a vampire to be with Edward…but she doesn’t think about the fact that she’ll NEVER see her damn family again or her friends. She is vapid and doesn’t think about anything.
This brings me to another major fault with the love story. This whole film is the same damn conversation on repeat. “Bella marry me.” “Okay Edward. I love you. Make me a vampire.” “I can’t make you a vampire.” “But Jacob I love you as a friend.” “Bella I’m better.” “Jacob you look good without a shirt, now kiss me. I love Edward more.” And…repeat.
I will give the film this, it had some good ideas. I like the idea of the story the werewolf tribe told Bella and how they connected her to the story. But again, because she is such an unlikable character it did NOT work at all. If she was better developed and selfless, trying to make her seem like a martyr might not have been a horrible thing.
The "famous" tent scene was ridiculous by the way. The Arrow states that it is very homosexual between Edward and Jacob...and I have to agree! I felt MORE chemistry between them then I did between them and Bella...I'd watch that movie XD
Then we have the CGI. Man was it bad! I actually thought it was sort of decent in New Moon but it blew BIG time here! And the fact they made the vampires break like concrete was an interesting idea, but it was so obviously a cash out to get that PG-13 rating for the little tweens. Fuck them.
In the end, another sucky movie for the kids. Not fun. Not interesting. Boring as hell with unlikable and bland main characters. BUT the soundtrack is great, the side characters were interesting (seriously the movie should be about THEM and not the LAME love story), and some of the action was cool.
Overall Grade: 4/10
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