Director: Chris Nahon
Cast:
Gianna Jun/Saya
Allison Miller/Alice
Liam Cunningham/Michael Harrison
Koyuki/Onigen
Plot: Saya, a kickass Japanese school girl fights vampires and demons in her school girl outfit and with her trusty samurai sword.
Review:
Have you ever wondered what it was like to get raped? No? Well you're about to find out with this film. I'm a HUGE fan of the 2000 anime of the same name. It was only 45 minutes long was bad ass with great action and one of the coolest heroines ever. So when I heard they were doing a live action film, saying I was stoked was an UNDERSTATEMENT. I couldn't fuckin' wait! I saw the trailer and it looked awesome!
Well I finally got around to seeing the film a few days ago. After the opening scene, which was pretty nifty, I was like this might not be too bad...but then the movie kept on going and I felt like crying in shame at how bad this film was. Everything that made the anime awesome was missing. The action set pieces ranged from mediocre to actually kinda cool to shitty. Mistake number one right there. The action wasn't all that thrilling except for maybe one or two scenes. I was bored for most of the film. That should NOT be the feeling during a gory action film with samurai swords and awesome vampires. I should NOT be bored!
You must be asking well if there is gore, it can't be all that bad. Well you're wrong. Wait till you see the gore in this film. This film might single handily have the WORST CGI I've ever seen. They never heard of the less is more rule. They use CGI for everything from the demons (which look corny and fake and took me out of the film) to the blood. That blood, oh wow! The blood was done so badly it didn't even LOOK like blood. It looked like black goobs that shot out of the body. What the hell?! Are you serious movie? BLOOD IS RED! Can't you get ONE thing right? At first I let that go, thinking maybe that is what demon blood is like...then when humans began to bleed like that...that is when I knew it was ALL bad.
I don't even remember the soundtrack or the score, so I guess it wasn't HORRIBLE, but it wasn't memorable and some of the editing got on my nerves. They needed a new editor.
Most of acting was bad, or it might have JUST been the bad writer. I couldn't decide if this was a case of bad actors or bad dialogue and script. I will be the nice guy for this review and blame it on the latter.
Then we had the character of Alice. Why was she hear again? No seriously...Why?! She added absolutely nothing to the film...like AT ALL! She could have been written out or killed off and the movie wouldn't have changed ONE BIT! Plus her character was annoying and she took away screen time from Saya, you know our main character. I didn't care about this Alice chick. I wanted to see Saya kicking ass! I don't care about this girl. And why was EVERYONE out to kill her? This film had a knack for either OVER-explaining or UNDER-explaining. With the character of Alice it was the latter. In the words of the GREAT Nostalgia Critic: "EXPLAIN MOVIE EXPLAIN!"
Along with her we got MANY other pointless characters that took away from the action and our main character. Again, why were so many of these characters needed? All I wanted was Saya.
Which brings me to the main woman herself, Saya. Did they at least do her right. I am VERY proud to say she is the ONE saving grace of the film. She was beautiful and perfectly captured the character of the anime. She really knew how to kick that ass (even if I couldn't TOTALLY buy her as an action heroine, but I let that one go). I was having fun when ever her character was on screen. Saya is just a great character and Gianna Jun was great as her and saved the movie from being a TOTAL disaster.
Plus I liked some of the directing and the film had an overall glossy look to it that I appreciated. And not ALL the action scenes were terrible. There was one with Saya versus a WHOLE lotta vampires outside the bar that actually got me to perk up and got me invested in the scene.
But overall, this film was akin to getting raped up the ass...with a sandpapery broom stick. yeah...that is what this film was like O_o. I'll stick to the anime.
OVERALL GRADE: 4/10
Monday, September 6, 2010
Piranha 3D (2010)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Cast:
Elisabeth Shue/Julie
Steven R. McQueen/Jake
Adam Scott/Novak
Kelly Brook/Danni
Ving Rhames/Fallon
Jerry O'Connell/Derrick
Jessica Szohr/Kelly
Christopher Lloyd/Goodman
Plot: Dumb college kids on spring break are being eaten by killer prehistoric piranha. It is up to hot-to-trot Sheriff Julie and her teenage son Jake to stop these killer fish.
Review:
I love gore. Let me restate: I love me some BLOODY BLOODY VIOLENCE =D Hell yeah! This film gave us enough gore to satisfy AND then some! =D
This was a fun film, nothing more and nothing less and it didn't pretend to be anything else! This film was like being on spring break and was the perfect way to end my summer. This and Scott Pilgrim was the most fun I had in theatres ALL summer! Piranha 3D wasn't original and was pretty predictable but it didn't bother me even when I knew what was going to happen next. I was too busy having a good time to care.
The set up was pretty nifty with the spring break and I actually liked a majority of the characters. Usually I would complain about lack of character development, but this film didn't need it. All I needed were some likable characters played by good actors and I was good. That is exactly what we got. Elisabeth Shue as Sheriff Julie is still gorgeous and was great in the film. She really bulked up and got buff for the role. I've never seen her so badass before. Then we got the equally gorgeous Adam Scott playing against type as the cool action scientist hero who got me to have a crush on him. Ving Rhames is ALWAYS awesome and the GORGEOUS Kelly Brook stole my gay heart as Danni, a wild wild girl. She quickly became my favorite and was mighty fine! But it was Jerry O'Connell who stole the movie. He played a seedy director and he had fun with the role! I've never been a fan of his, but he was freakin' AWESOME in this role! But my biggest surprises were the two teen lovebirds Jake and Kelly. Steven R. McQueen and Jessica Szohr were both pretty good and likable. Their subplot was pretty predictable and has been done COUNTLESS times before. He's a hot hip nerd who is in love with the popular cute girl. She obviously likes him but he doesn't see it. It has a very been there-done that quality but for some reason I still couldn't help but get into it. They had great chemistry and I couldn't stop saying aw at some of their moments.
For the straight guys in the audience (which is what the film was aimed at), they'll LOVE the countless nudity from pretty much almost every woman in this film including the drop dead beautiful Kelly Brook. You guys will LOVE the "underwater ballet."
But don't worry the ladies and us gay dudes also get some nice loving from all the hot shirtless guys and we even get to see a couple bare asses. My favorite guy would have to be McQueen as Jake. He was my type =]
Which brings me to my favorite part THE GORE! This is a film where it is all about the red stuff and I was NOT disappointed. Going in I was afraid it'll be all CGI, but THANKFULLY the gore was done MOSTLY practically. YES!!! It was astounding and beautiful. The piranhas were done CGi, but they WORKED. I'm a HATER of CGI, but these piranhas looked awesome! They did great work creating them.
The spring break attack on the teens was a scene for the BOOKS!!! And I cannot wait for the director's cut (if there is one) because I definitely noticed scenes that were not in the film that were in the trailer (I was So looking forward to the jet ski scene with Adam Scott where it flips).
Alex Aja has really been becoming my favorite director and this film is just BEAUTIFUL to look at. He treats every film as art and is the MOST ballsy guy working in Hollywood now! I can't wait to see his next horror film. The cinematography was gorgeous and I just wanted to be on Spring Break there. And Alex Aja was EVEN able to get a LOT of suspense and tension out of this film which is usually absent from horror films of this ilk.
Plus there are the cameos! Richard Dreyfuss plays his character from Jaws, and my mouth FELL open once he came onto the screen and Christopher Lloyd had fun with the role and chewed the scenery and I had a blast watching him. (Plus it made me laugh how he had a random piranha fossil with him).
I can't stop raving about this film. But I do have some issues. First of all, why were those two kids in the film? I could have done with out them. They got on my nerves BIG time! Plus Elisabeth Shue really was badass in this film, but I wanted MORE of her. I felt like they didn't give her a total a lot to do. Plus there was some of the stupid character moves, but this is a horror film so I let it go, and I don't even remember the score...but I did like the techno music I'm not gonna lie.
In the end, I had a BLAST with the film. The gore, the fun characters, the gore, the directing, the GORE! Plus you had some AMAZING stunt set pieces, great tension and suspense, and you got my favorite horror film of the year right along with Shutter Island.
GO SEE IT!
OVERALL GRADE: 9/10
Cast:
Elisabeth Shue/Julie
Steven R. McQueen/Jake
Adam Scott/Novak
Kelly Brook/Danni
Ving Rhames/Fallon
Jerry O'Connell/Derrick
Jessica Szohr/Kelly
Christopher Lloyd/Goodman
Plot: Dumb college kids on spring break are being eaten by killer prehistoric piranha. It is up to hot-to-trot Sheriff Julie and her teenage son Jake to stop these killer fish.
Review:
I love gore. Let me restate: I love me some BLOODY BLOODY VIOLENCE =D Hell yeah! This film gave us enough gore to satisfy AND then some! =D
This was a fun film, nothing more and nothing less and it didn't pretend to be anything else! This film was like being on spring break and was the perfect way to end my summer. This and Scott Pilgrim was the most fun I had in theatres ALL summer! Piranha 3D wasn't original and was pretty predictable but it didn't bother me even when I knew what was going to happen next. I was too busy having a good time to care.
The set up was pretty nifty with the spring break and I actually liked a majority of the characters. Usually I would complain about lack of character development, but this film didn't need it. All I needed were some likable characters played by good actors and I was good. That is exactly what we got. Elisabeth Shue as Sheriff Julie is still gorgeous and was great in the film. She really bulked up and got buff for the role. I've never seen her so badass before. Then we got the equally gorgeous Adam Scott playing against type as the cool action scientist hero who got me to have a crush on him. Ving Rhames is ALWAYS awesome and the GORGEOUS Kelly Brook stole my gay heart as Danni, a wild wild girl. She quickly became my favorite and was mighty fine! But it was Jerry O'Connell who stole the movie. He played a seedy director and he had fun with the role! I've never been a fan of his, but he was freakin' AWESOME in this role! But my biggest surprises were the two teen lovebirds Jake and Kelly. Steven R. McQueen and Jessica Szohr were both pretty good and likable. Their subplot was pretty predictable and has been done COUNTLESS times before. He's a hot hip nerd who is in love with the popular cute girl. She obviously likes him but he doesn't see it. It has a very been there-done that quality but for some reason I still couldn't help but get into it. They had great chemistry and I couldn't stop saying aw at some of their moments.
For the straight guys in the audience (which is what the film was aimed at), they'll LOVE the countless nudity from pretty much almost every woman in this film including the drop dead beautiful Kelly Brook. You guys will LOVE the "underwater ballet."
But don't worry the ladies and us gay dudes also get some nice loving from all the hot shirtless guys and we even get to see a couple bare asses. My favorite guy would have to be McQueen as Jake. He was my type =]
Which brings me to my favorite part THE GORE! This is a film where it is all about the red stuff and I was NOT disappointed. Going in I was afraid it'll be all CGI, but THANKFULLY the gore was done MOSTLY practically. YES!!! It was astounding and beautiful. The piranhas were done CGi, but they WORKED. I'm a HATER of CGI, but these piranhas looked awesome! They did great work creating them.
The spring break attack on the teens was a scene for the BOOKS!!! And I cannot wait for the director's cut (if there is one) because I definitely noticed scenes that were not in the film that were in the trailer (I was So looking forward to the jet ski scene with Adam Scott where it flips).
Alex Aja has really been becoming my favorite director and this film is just BEAUTIFUL to look at. He treats every film as art and is the MOST ballsy guy working in Hollywood now! I can't wait to see his next horror film. The cinematography was gorgeous and I just wanted to be on Spring Break there. And Alex Aja was EVEN able to get a LOT of suspense and tension out of this film which is usually absent from horror films of this ilk.
Plus there are the cameos! Richard Dreyfuss plays his character from Jaws, and my mouth FELL open once he came onto the screen and Christopher Lloyd had fun with the role and chewed the scenery and I had a blast watching him. (Plus it made me laugh how he had a random piranha fossil with him).
I can't stop raving about this film. But I do have some issues. First of all, why were those two kids in the film? I could have done with out them. They got on my nerves BIG time! Plus Elisabeth Shue really was badass in this film, but I wanted MORE of her. I felt like they didn't give her a total a lot to do. Plus there was some of the stupid character moves, but this is a horror film so I let it go, and I don't even remember the score...but I did like the techno music I'm not gonna lie.
In the end, I had a BLAST with the film. The gore, the fun characters, the gore, the directing, the GORE! Plus you had some AMAZING stunt set pieces, great tension and suspense, and you got my favorite horror film of the year right along with Shutter Island.
GO SEE IT!
OVERALL GRADE: 9/10
High Tension (2004)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Cast:
Cecile De France/Marie
Maiwenn Le Besco/Alex
Philippe Nahon/The Killer
Plot: Two college girls (hehe, yeah right) are traveling to a secluded house in the middle of nowhere to visit Alex's family to have some nice study time. But when a raving psycho killer butches Alex's family and kidnaps her it is up to Marie to chase after the killer to save her best friend. Will she get to her friend in time or pay for it big time.
Review:
Warning: This review will be mostly gushing! This IS my all time favorite movie. So don't expect too much criticism, if any at all.
Now that that is out of the way. I still remember watching this film in 2005 (or was it 2004). I was 14 and this was towards the earlier stages of my obsession with horror films. I remember getting into all the old horror films from the 70s and 80s and I worked my way through the ENTIRE horror section at Blockbuster, until there was nothing left. But sadly there weren't too many horror films in theatres (well good ones). Then this French film came out of nowhere to bitch slap me across the face, kick me in the balls, and spank me until I called my Mommy.
This film IS an exercise on suspense and tension. From the first frame until the final second (those final frames were AMAZING) I was on the edge of my seat praying that the two girls survive. I was biting my nails in anticipation. Alexandre Aja started off on the right foot by giving us two likable women to root for. Marie was intelligent and was bad ass. Alex was more of a crier...but she spent most of the movie chained up in a van, so can you really blame her? Once the chains came off, she became a fighter as well. The tension was jacked up because I WANTED these girls to survive. I cared about them.
Then we have the killer. He was one scary fucker! He legit terrified me in an old pervert kind of way. I wound't want my worst enemy around this man...okay that is a lie. I'd send them into the back of his van in a heartbeat.
What set this slasher apart from others as well is how it isn't just dumb teens running through the woods (although I DO love those films). It's a family that is being slaughtered so that jacks of the stakes as well. They even have the balls to kill a child. I love Alex Aja. I think I want him to marry me...just saying. He must have HUGE balls to make a film like this.
Speaking of the Aja, his directing was...mind blowing. The film FELT like it was from the 70s. It was gritty, disturbing, and not since John Carpenter has a man been able to generate so much suspense and tension. I think this film almost gave me a heart attack by the end.
The deaths were brutal, violent, gory, and bloody as hell! The movie was messy! That's a good thing! Not many films can balance gore and suspense. They either go for the scares or the gore. This film went for both and it MORE than succeeded! The gore actually HELPED the movie.
To go along with the three amazing characters, we got three amazing actors. Phillipe Nahon (sorry if I spelled that wrong) was terrifying as the Killer, while Maiwenn was heartbreaking as Alex. I really felt for her and would never want to go through what she went through. But the actor to impress me most would have to be Cecile De France. She reached so many emotional levels that many actors/actresses in horror couldn't pull off and she reached them. She wasn't the MOST developed character, but she was so easy to root for and she is one of my favorite heroines. Plus she ain't bad to look at.
Anything else I can say? What about the soundtrack! One word: Brilliant. This is the movie that also introduced me to my favorite band, Muse. The score was brilliant and helped add towards the tension. I really wish this was released on CD. I'd buy it!
To wrap this all in a nice bow, we got a bloody and scary as fuck horror/slasher film with a likable heroine and great scares.
But I just want to note one thing. Many people do not like the ending. I'm NOT one of those people. I love the ending, because it elevates it from a simple slasher film. It becomes something more psychological and I love this film, ending and all.
If I had to REALLY nitpick, the guys were NOT that great looking. There wasn't one in sight. Couldn't they have given Alex another brother, maybe a cute one...in his mid to late twenties or so...with a great body and glasses =P lol JK The dudes and lesbians got a GREAT looking heroine in Marie, but the ladies and us gay dudes get shite. But that is just nitpicking. Eye candy doesn't make a good movie.
Again, I LOVE this movie! It's a blast from beginning to end and is scary as hell. If you want to be scared, I say watch this French masterpiece (yes I called it a masterpiece, sue me!).
OVERALL GRADE: 10/10
Cast:
Cecile De France/Marie
Maiwenn Le Besco/Alex
Philippe Nahon/The Killer
Plot: Two college girls (hehe, yeah right) are traveling to a secluded house in the middle of nowhere to visit Alex's family to have some nice study time. But when a raving psycho killer butches Alex's family and kidnaps her it is up to Marie to chase after the killer to save her best friend. Will she get to her friend in time or pay for it big time.
Review:
Warning: This review will be mostly gushing! This IS my all time favorite movie. So don't expect too much criticism, if any at all.
Now that that is out of the way. I still remember watching this film in 2005 (or was it 2004). I was 14 and this was towards the earlier stages of my obsession with horror films. I remember getting into all the old horror films from the 70s and 80s and I worked my way through the ENTIRE horror section at Blockbuster, until there was nothing left. But sadly there weren't too many horror films in theatres (well good ones). Then this French film came out of nowhere to bitch slap me across the face, kick me in the balls, and spank me until I called my Mommy.
This film IS an exercise on suspense and tension. From the first frame until the final second (those final frames were AMAZING) I was on the edge of my seat praying that the two girls survive. I was biting my nails in anticipation. Alexandre Aja started off on the right foot by giving us two likable women to root for. Marie was intelligent and was bad ass. Alex was more of a crier...but she spent most of the movie chained up in a van, so can you really blame her? Once the chains came off, she became a fighter as well. The tension was jacked up because I WANTED these girls to survive. I cared about them.
Then we have the killer. He was one scary fucker! He legit terrified me in an old pervert kind of way. I wound't want my worst enemy around this man...okay that is a lie. I'd send them into the back of his van in a heartbeat.
What set this slasher apart from others as well is how it isn't just dumb teens running through the woods (although I DO love those films). It's a family that is being slaughtered so that jacks of the stakes as well. They even have the balls to kill a child. I love Alex Aja. I think I want him to marry me...just saying. He must have HUGE balls to make a film like this.
Speaking of the Aja, his directing was...mind blowing. The film FELT like it was from the 70s. It was gritty, disturbing, and not since John Carpenter has a man been able to generate so much suspense and tension. I think this film almost gave me a heart attack by the end.
The deaths were brutal, violent, gory, and bloody as hell! The movie was messy! That's a good thing! Not many films can balance gore and suspense. They either go for the scares or the gore. This film went for both and it MORE than succeeded! The gore actually HELPED the movie.
To go along with the three amazing characters, we got three amazing actors. Phillipe Nahon (sorry if I spelled that wrong) was terrifying as the Killer, while Maiwenn was heartbreaking as Alex. I really felt for her and would never want to go through what she went through. But the actor to impress me most would have to be Cecile De France. She reached so many emotional levels that many actors/actresses in horror couldn't pull off and she reached them. She wasn't the MOST developed character, but she was so easy to root for and she is one of my favorite heroines. Plus she ain't bad to look at.
Anything else I can say? What about the soundtrack! One word: Brilliant. This is the movie that also introduced me to my favorite band, Muse. The score was brilliant and helped add towards the tension. I really wish this was released on CD. I'd buy it!
To wrap this all in a nice bow, we got a bloody and scary as fuck horror/slasher film with a likable heroine and great scares.
But I just want to note one thing. Many people do not like the ending. I'm NOT one of those people. I love the ending, because it elevates it from a simple slasher film. It becomes something more psychological and I love this film, ending and all.
If I had to REALLY nitpick, the guys were NOT that great looking. There wasn't one in sight. Couldn't they have given Alex another brother, maybe a cute one...in his mid to late twenties or so...with a great body and glasses =P lol JK The dudes and lesbians got a GREAT looking heroine in Marie, but the ladies and us gay dudes get shite. But that is just nitpicking. Eye candy doesn't make a good movie.
Again, I LOVE this movie! It's a blast from beginning to end and is scary as hell. If you want to be scared, I say watch this French masterpiece (yes I called it a masterpiece, sue me!).
OVERALL GRADE: 10/10
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Splintered (2008)
Director: Simeon Halligan
CAST:
Holly Weston/Sophie
Stephen Walters/Gavin
Sadie Pickering/Jane
Jonathan Readwin/Dean
Sacha Dhawan/Sam
Sol Heras/John
PLOT:
Five young friends (three guys and two girls) set off into the woods to find the mysterious beast that has been killing animals. But when one of their own is kidnapped the rest of the group goes off to find her as they are killed off one by one.
BREAKDOWN:
I’m going to start off with this statement, this movie is not original or even amazing…but I still loved it. It’s your basic slasher film plot – five friends in the woods and they are each killed off. But when we’re in a sorry state of horror, any new horror film that isn’t a remake I automatically give points too. Of course this film is from the UK. The US doesn’t believe in original horror anymore, so we have to find our horror elsewhere. Lately it’s been France that has been creating the best horror films. My favorite movie of all time is a French film called Haute Tension (High Tension).
But back to Splintered. It’s a little known slasher flick that was VERY hard to track down. It is not on DVD or even online (I know shame on me for looking, but I was desperate!). There is almost nothing about it on IMDB and it doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. When I saw the trailer I was curious. I found it on television late at night and I watched it in one sitting. At the end of the film, I wasn’t taken aback or given anything to think about, but we all know my favorite genre of film is the slasher film. The 80’s slasher films are my favorite, so it’s always nice to see a good slasher film.
I loved the directing to the film. It was very washed out and used a lot of dark blue and grey hues. It gave the film almost a Gothic feeling to it. There was always a feeling of dread with each frame of the movie and that upped the suspense.
The soundtrack was decent. It has been a while, but I remember liking it, but it was a bit generic at points, but it wasn’t a horrible musical score.
The cast was actually pretty good. The five teens were decent and well acted. There wasn’t much character development, but the actors made me care with their likable performances. The standout would be Holly Weston as Sophie, our heroine. She was my anchor to the film and she pulled me in the moment she was onscreen. She is beautiful, likable, and gave a great performance. I was really rooting for her to survive the entire movie. We don’t get too many great heroines these days, so it’s nice to have another awesome heroine to add to the list. Sophie was a really smart character who while held captive, didn’t just sit back and wait to be saved. She tried every form of escape she could think of and she was a real fighter. She was smart and took everything into her own hands. She was what made the movie for me.
The rest of the cast held their own. I found Stephen Walters to be effective and creepy as (the is he or is he not the killer) Gavin. The other four teens were decent. They didn’t really stand out though. More character development would have heightened the stakes of them. We didn’t really learn too much about the other four, which is a shame. But I still found a way to like them. That girl who played Jane though has a GREAT scream.
The violence was okay. They got the job done with some nice bloody kills. There was a GREAT stabbing in the eye, a sweet bloody impaling, and some bitten necks, but I couldn’t help craving more gore. But what I got was still pretty wicked.
I also loved how the heroine, Sophie had a past. It added more to the film and made it a little bit more than JUST a slasher film. It added to her character arc and worked on me.
Again the movie isn’t perfect. Like I said outside of Sophie, the other four teens could’ve used more character development to make me care about them more. We didn’t learn too much so in my end, I only really truly gave a damn about Sophie (again good job girl!). There was one rather stupid dream sequence where one character wakes up in the car alone, which makes no sense. Why would his/her friends leave them alone with all the doors open? It was too obvious that it was a dream sequence. There were also some dumb character moves, like finding a dead carcass so they decide to venture deeper to see what did it. STUPID MOVE!
My biggest gripes though are with the ending. The ending fell apart for me. A priest was thrown into the film out of nowhere, and I could’ve done without him. He added absolutely nothing to the movie and didn’t make much sense to me. Another character twist was thrown in and it lessened the stakes for me, because I found Gavin to be a creepy man and when the other character was thrown in I found him to be more ridiculous then scary, which is a shame. Also when Sophie goes up against the killer she screams “I am not a virgin” and it lessens the impact of the scene because what could have been a serious scene becomes kind of stupid with her screaming that, but there IS a nice chase scene before the scene and there is some decent gore. I’ll just say this: a crucifix is put to good use. Also at the end police officers and paramedics appear out of nowhere! Where did they come from and where did they know where to be? I don’t remember anyone calling them but then again it has been a while since I last saw the movie. I found this to be a plot hole that annoyed me.
But overall I had a great time with the movie. I had a lot of flaws with the film but it couldn’t stop me from enjoying this movie. I hope to see it released one day because I want to own this DVD. I loved the movie. I wonder though if we weren’t in such a sorry state of horror films, if I would’ve loved it so much. The answer is I probably would have given it a lower rating, but who knows. I recommend the movie.
OVERALL GRADE: 8.5/10
CAST:
Holly Weston/Sophie
Stephen Walters/Gavin
Sadie Pickering/Jane
Jonathan Readwin/Dean
Sacha Dhawan/Sam
Sol Heras/John
PLOT:
Five young friends (three guys and two girls) set off into the woods to find the mysterious beast that has been killing animals. But when one of their own is kidnapped the rest of the group goes off to find her as they are killed off one by one.
BREAKDOWN:
I’m going to start off with this statement, this movie is not original or even amazing…but I still loved it. It’s your basic slasher film plot – five friends in the woods and they are each killed off. But when we’re in a sorry state of horror, any new horror film that isn’t a remake I automatically give points too. Of course this film is from the UK. The US doesn’t believe in original horror anymore, so we have to find our horror elsewhere. Lately it’s been France that has been creating the best horror films. My favorite movie of all time is a French film called Haute Tension (High Tension).
But back to Splintered. It’s a little known slasher flick that was VERY hard to track down. It is not on DVD or even online (I know shame on me for looking, but I was desperate!). There is almost nothing about it on IMDB and it doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. When I saw the trailer I was curious. I found it on television late at night and I watched it in one sitting. At the end of the film, I wasn’t taken aback or given anything to think about, but we all know my favorite genre of film is the slasher film. The 80’s slasher films are my favorite, so it’s always nice to see a good slasher film.
I loved the directing to the film. It was very washed out and used a lot of dark blue and grey hues. It gave the film almost a Gothic feeling to it. There was always a feeling of dread with each frame of the movie and that upped the suspense.
The soundtrack was decent. It has been a while, but I remember liking it, but it was a bit generic at points, but it wasn’t a horrible musical score.
The cast was actually pretty good. The five teens were decent and well acted. There wasn’t much character development, but the actors made me care with their likable performances. The standout would be Holly Weston as Sophie, our heroine. She was my anchor to the film and she pulled me in the moment she was onscreen. She is beautiful, likable, and gave a great performance. I was really rooting for her to survive the entire movie. We don’t get too many great heroines these days, so it’s nice to have another awesome heroine to add to the list. Sophie was a really smart character who while held captive, didn’t just sit back and wait to be saved. She tried every form of escape she could think of and she was a real fighter. She was smart and took everything into her own hands. She was what made the movie for me.
The rest of the cast held their own. I found Stephen Walters to be effective and creepy as (the is he or is he not the killer) Gavin. The other four teens were decent. They didn’t really stand out though. More character development would have heightened the stakes of them. We didn’t really learn too much about the other four, which is a shame. But I still found a way to like them. That girl who played Jane though has a GREAT scream.
The violence was okay. They got the job done with some nice bloody kills. There was a GREAT stabbing in the eye, a sweet bloody impaling, and some bitten necks, but I couldn’t help craving more gore. But what I got was still pretty wicked.
I also loved how the heroine, Sophie had a past. It added more to the film and made it a little bit more than JUST a slasher film. It added to her character arc and worked on me.
Again the movie isn’t perfect. Like I said outside of Sophie, the other four teens could’ve used more character development to make me care about them more. We didn’t learn too much so in my end, I only really truly gave a damn about Sophie (again good job girl!). There was one rather stupid dream sequence where one character wakes up in the car alone, which makes no sense. Why would his/her friends leave them alone with all the doors open? It was too obvious that it was a dream sequence. There were also some dumb character moves, like finding a dead carcass so they decide to venture deeper to see what did it. STUPID MOVE!
My biggest gripes though are with the ending. The ending fell apart for me. A priest was thrown into the film out of nowhere, and I could’ve done without him. He added absolutely nothing to the movie and didn’t make much sense to me. Another character twist was thrown in and it lessened the stakes for me, because I found Gavin to be a creepy man and when the other character was thrown in I found him to be more ridiculous then scary, which is a shame. Also when Sophie goes up against the killer she screams “I am not a virgin” and it lessens the impact of the scene because what could have been a serious scene becomes kind of stupid with her screaming that, but there IS a nice chase scene before the scene and there is some decent gore. I’ll just say this: a crucifix is put to good use. Also at the end police officers and paramedics appear out of nowhere! Where did they come from and where did they know where to be? I don’t remember anyone calling them but then again it has been a while since I last saw the movie. I found this to be a plot hole that annoyed me.
But overall I had a great time with the movie. I had a lot of flaws with the film but it couldn’t stop me from enjoying this movie. I hope to see it released one day because I want to own this DVD. I loved the movie. I wonder though if we weren’t in such a sorry state of horror films, if I would’ve loved it so much. The answer is I probably would have given it a lower rating, but who knows. I recommend the movie.
OVERALL GRADE: 8.5/10
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Fritt Vilt (2006)
DIRECTOR: Roar Uthaug
CAST:
Ingrid Bolsø Berdal/Jannicke
Rolf Kristian Larsen/Morten Tobias
Tomas Alf Larsen/Eirick
Endre Martin Midtstigen/Mikal
Viktoria Winge/Ingunn
PLOT:
Five young snowboarders take shelter in an abandoned ski lodge, after one of their friends breaks their legs. But you know how these movies work, the place is already occupied, and they’re about to regret their decision of staying there.
BREAKDOWN:
Fritt Vilt, or Cold Prey as it is known here in the states, is one wild ride. I’ve seen this movie countless times already and I have it playing again on my DVD player. I decided to write up a review for the Norwegian film. The movie is your basic slasher film and that is what I love about it. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else. It’s a brutal slasher film and that is what it is.
The movie starts off on the right back with a gripping and eerie opening scene. You don’t exactly know what is going on and that makes it all the more creepy and then the film takes another right step by introducing us to our main group of friends. They are five young friends just looking for a fun day of snowboarding. They are likable and the movie actually spends time to DEVELOP them…GASP!!! When a slasher film develops their characters and makes them likable, it can make a film so much better and really heightens the stakes. These weren’t just a bunch of stereotyped models. The cast was good-looking yes…DAMN were they good looking. ;-)…but they looked like real people too and they acted like them. They were nice yet flawed people. I really got behind these people, especially Jannicke.
Jannicke is a heroine we haven’t seen in a while (not including Christine from Drag Me to Hell). She’s a nice normal chick who is smart, vulnerable, and tough and will fight to survive while trying to help her friends along the way. She isn’t selfish…a lot of the characters actually aren’t selfish. They all try to help each other survive. But it has been a while since we have seen such a great heroine in a horror film. She definitely has been added to my list as top heroines. The actress behind her was solid as well. She was up to the task…and she was perfect! I adored her. I also had a bit of a crush on the guy who played her boyfriend; I’m not going to lie. He was adorable. The entire cast was in top shape. They each played their role perfectly and got me to care for them. I actually WANTED these people to survive, so when they bought it, I cared.
The movie did take a while to get going, but that was okay with me because I was invested in the main characters and I liked just hanging out with them and having fun…and seeing the boys without their shirts on. I especially loved that part. They had some hot bodies. The boy who played Eirick, call me =). But once the first death scene happened, I was floored! I tensed up like a little baby and I finally knew I was in for a vicious ride.
Onto the death scenes. The movie wasn’t particularly gory, but you WILL see blood. The death scenes were well shot, brutal, violent, and were gripping of suspense. I’ve heard a lot of people complain the film wasn’t gory enough, but it didn’t bother me, because the film was gripping of suspense throughout the entire show. It was atmospheric and the cinematography was beautiful. I hate snow, but on film it always manages to look gorgeous.
The directing was amazing and I loved the blue-grey hue the film had. The film itself was creepy. I actually got scared at some points. I tensed up many times.
The soundtrack was badass! The score really went with the movie well and when they used the metal rock tunes, they kicked major ass.
Any complaints? Yeah I have a few, nothing major though. The movie didn’t break any new ground. It’s the same thing that has been done many times…but that didn’t bother me so much. The movie WAS a bit predictable, like I knew who was going to survive from the moment I saw him/her. But that didn’t take away from the suspense of the film. My last minor complaint is that the character who breaks their leg…during some scenes it seems like he forgot he broke his leg because he was just hopping like it was a sprained ankle or something.
But I let all this go for the fun of the film. This is one of the best times I’ve had in a while. My favorite type of movie is the slasher film. And we don’t get too many good ones anymore (not including All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, I LOVE that fuckin’ movie. It’s one of my favorites!!!). When I say my final rating, you might think it will be too giving of me…but in this state of shit-tastic kiddy horror films and remakes, it was nice to see a TRUE horror/slasher film again.
OVERALL GRADE: 9/10
CAST:
Ingrid Bolsø Berdal/Jannicke
Rolf Kristian Larsen/Morten Tobias
Tomas Alf Larsen/Eirick
Endre Martin Midtstigen/Mikal
Viktoria Winge/Ingunn
PLOT:
Five young snowboarders take shelter in an abandoned ski lodge, after one of their friends breaks their legs. But you know how these movies work, the place is already occupied, and they’re about to regret their decision of staying there.
BREAKDOWN:
Fritt Vilt, or Cold Prey as it is known here in the states, is one wild ride. I’ve seen this movie countless times already and I have it playing again on my DVD player. I decided to write up a review for the Norwegian film. The movie is your basic slasher film and that is what I love about it. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else. It’s a brutal slasher film and that is what it is.
The movie starts off on the right back with a gripping and eerie opening scene. You don’t exactly know what is going on and that makes it all the more creepy and then the film takes another right step by introducing us to our main group of friends. They are five young friends just looking for a fun day of snowboarding. They are likable and the movie actually spends time to DEVELOP them…GASP!!! When a slasher film develops their characters and makes them likable, it can make a film so much better and really heightens the stakes. These weren’t just a bunch of stereotyped models. The cast was good-looking yes…DAMN were they good looking. ;-)…but they looked like real people too and they acted like them. They were nice yet flawed people. I really got behind these people, especially Jannicke.
Jannicke is a heroine we haven’t seen in a while (not including Christine from Drag Me to Hell). She’s a nice normal chick who is smart, vulnerable, and tough and will fight to survive while trying to help her friends along the way. She isn’t selfish…a lot of the characters actually aren’t selfish. They all try to help each other survive. But it has been a while since we have seen such a great heroine in a horror film. She definitely has been added to my list as top heroines. The actress behind her was solid as well. She was up to the task…and she was perfect! I adored her. I also had a bit of a crush on the guy who played her boyfriend; I’m not going to lie. He was adorable. The entire cast was in top shape. They each played their role perfectly and got me to care for them. I actually WANTED these people to survive, so when they bought it, I cared.
The movie did take a while to get going, but that was okay with me because I was invested in the main characters and I liked just hanging out with them and having fun…and seeing the boys without their shirts on. I especially loved that part. They had some hot bodies. The boy who played Eirick, call me =). But once the first death scene happened, I was floored! I tensed up like a little baby and I finally knew I was in for a vicious ride.
Onto the death scenes. The movie wasn’t particularly gory, but you WILL see blood. The death scenes were well shot, brutal, violent, and were gripping of suspense. I’ve heard a lot of people complain the film wasn’t gory enough, but it didn’t bother me, because the film was gripping of suspense throughout the entire show. It was atmospheric and the cinematography was beautiful. I hate snow, but on film it always manages to look gorgeous.
The directing was amazing and I loved the blue-grey hue the film had. The film itself was creepy. I actually got scared at some points. I tensed up many times.
The soundtrack was badass! The score really went with the movie well and when they used the metal rock tunes, they kicked major ass.
Any complaints? Yeah I have a few, nothing major though. The movie didn’t break any new ground. It’s the same thing that has been done many times…but that didn’t bother me so much. The movie WAS a bit predictable, like I knew who was going to survive from the moment I saw him/her. But that didn’t take away from the suspense of the film. My last minor complaint is that the character who breaks their leg…during some scenes it seems like he forgot he broke his leg because he was just hopping like it was a sprained ankle or something.
But I let all this go for the fun of the film. This is one of the best times I’ve had in a while. My favorite type of movie is the slasher film. And we don’t get too many good ones anymore (not including All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, I LOVE that fuckin’ movie. It’s one of my favorites!!!). When I say my final rating, you might think it will be too giving of me…but in this state of shit-tastic kiddy horror films and remakes, it was nice to see a TRUE horror/slasher film again.
OVERALL GRADE: 9/10
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday the 13th (2009)
Director: Marcus Niespel
Cast:
Jared Padelecki/Clay
Danielle Panabaker/Jenna
Amanda Righetti/Whitney
Travis Van Winkle/Trent
Julianna Guill/Bree
Derek Mears/Jason Voorhees
PLOT:
Jason kills a bunch of idiot dumb college students in the woods. It’s a Friday the 13th film, what do you expect?
BREAKDOWN:
Another day, another remake. When will this craze END?! I’m sick of them remaking all of my favorite movies. I adore the original Friday the 13th to death. I found it to be a scary and suspenseful well-made movie with characters I cared for. Oh well…this craze isn’t going to end for a while I feel like. At first I was angry with how Jason was the killer AND had his hockey mask, because any fan boy knows that his MOM was the killer in the original and that he didn’t get the infamous hockey mask until Part 3. But after a while and watching the pretty badass trailer, it looked more like a sequel to me then a remake…and that is how I looked at it as Friday the 13th: Part 12…and that made it better to me, because I’ve been wanting another sequel for a LONG time now.
I saw this movie opening night on Valentine’s Day with my ex-boyfriend. (Asshole!) I was really looking forward to this, even though I knew it wouldn’t meet the greatness of the original. This was my idea of a romantic movie though.
The movie opened up strong with one of the greatest openings to a horror film ever. The first twenty minutes gave us five likable characters that were fun and very enjoyable. I especially liked that Richie guy. He definitely got me to crack up! I really warmed up to these five people. Then Jason came in and ripped them to shreds so to speak. The kills were brutal and harsh (although not that gory) and suspense and tension was IN THE HOUSE! The pacing was perfect and everything was perfect. And this is JUST the opening scene! When the title showed up after this, I couldn’t wait for the movie to truly kick in! How awesome was it truly going to be!
But alas this is where my problems lie. The movie had an AMAZING opening (although I could have done without that corny black and white pre opening thing) but then…went onto become a bland and suspense-less thrill ride with not too many thrills. So in the end, the rest of the movie couldn’t live up to the badass opening. If the movie would have just been the first twenty minutes and been a short film, I actually probably would have been a happy camper. But what was wrong with the rest of the movie you may ask; let me tell you.
First the characters! Except for two characters, these were some of the most annoying and cardboard thin characters to grace the screen. They were supposed to be college students in their twenties but they were doing things that only little kids would do. Basically they grated my nerves BIG TIME! I just wanted them to all die. Thank god for Clay and Jenna. Clay is a guy on a mission to find his sister who went missing in the beginning. He was likable and he was my root to the movie. But it was Jenna who truly stole the movie for me. Danielle Panabaker shined BIG TIME. Her character was pretty thin, but she made her so likable and really added depth and she became the ONLY true character I wanted to make it out alive in the end. The rest of the cast was decent. I didn’t really notice any bad acting; it’s just that they didn’t really have any good roles. If it were up to me, the first five characters would have been the main characters of the entire film.
My biggest problem is that this was NOT Jason. It was pretty much Leatherface at Camp Crystal Lake. Jason in this film was intelligent, held people captive, and traveled through underground tunnels. What?! This is NOT the Jason I know and love. I like my Jason either as a dumb and deformed retard or as an unstoppable zombie. Here he was played as an intelligent hunter. This created MANY plot holes. How could no one notice an intelligent killer living there…especially when he has HIGH BEAM LIGHTS set up! And Jason does NOT keep people captive. He slaughters them, not chains them up. To me this was just not Jason Voorhees. Mears played him well, but I hope in the sequel they make him MORE like the Jason we know and love.
The kills in the movie were brutal and harsh…but they could have gone further. They weren’t gory enough for my liking. But hey! It was still better than any PG-13 shit fest (like Prom Night or The Stepfather remakes). Even though I am a gay man, I appreciated all the sex and nudity because it added an old 80’s feeling to the movie. But having lots of sex and nudity doesn’t make it a Friday the 13th film.
What about the soundtrack? It was...adequate. Nothing more. Nothing less. It did it's job and i don't even remember it...but i would have like more of the ki ki ki ma ma ma theme.
Then came the ending. It was…entertaining, but was DUMBER than Paris Hilton. If you do not want spoilers TURN BACK NOW!!!
SPOILERS!!!
Clay finds his sister alive after six weeks of being chained up by Jason. WTF? Again, Jason doesn’t chain people up! Then they kill off the ONE person who was the only truly likable character, Jenna. It was a surprise because she WAS the heroine. But she went out in such a stupid way. If they were going to kill off the heroine, at least give her a GREAT and respectable death scene. Then it’s the brother and sister alive. There was no suspense. No tension. And when they “kill” Jason, why did they kick his body into the ocean. He’s a “real man” remember? They just disposed of evidence. In Part 6 it was fine cause Jason was a zombie, but here it was just utter stupidity.
In the end, the movie was just a good first 20 minutes and then another hour or so of tensionless stupidity. Almost no likable characters. Jason isn’t the same Jason we used to love. The kills were harsh, but not gory. It was pretty much just dumb entertainment with now suspense.
To think of a rating was hard. Because those first 20 minutes REALLY kicked ass and if I had to JUST rate the first 20 minutes alone, I’d give the movie a strong 8/10…but alas that isn’t the entire film. There was another hour plus. So I had to think of it all together.
Strong opening. Bad middle act. Entertaining but stupid third act. I think the final rating is fair. This movie was stupid entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less.
OVERALL GRADE: 5/10
Cast:
Jared Padelecki/Clay
Danielle Panabaker/Jenna
Amanda Righetti/Whitney
Travis Van Winkle/Trent
Julianna Guill/Bree
Derek Mears/Jason Voorhees
PLOT:
Jason kills a bunch of idiot dumb college students in the woods. It’s a Friday the 13th film, what do you expect?
BREAKDOWN:
Another day, another remake. When will this craze END?! I’m sick of them remaking all of my favorite movies. I adore the original Friday the 13th to death. I found it to be a scary and suspenseful well-made movie with characters I cared for. Oh well…this craze isn’t going to end for a while I feel like. At first I was angry with how Jason was the killer AND had his hockey mask, because any fan boy knows that his MOM was the killer in the original and that he didn’t get the infamous hockey mask until Part 3. But after a while and watching the pretty badass trailer, it looked more like a sequel to me then a remake…and that is how I looked at it as Friday the 13th: Part 12…and that made it better to me, because I’ve been wanting another sequel for a LONG time now.
I saw this movie opening night on Valentine’s Day with my ex-boyfriend. (Asshole!) I was really looking forward to this, even though I knew it wouldn’t meet the greatness of the original. This was my idea of a romantic movie though.
The movie opened up strong with one of the greatest openings to a horror film ever. The first twenty minutes gave us five likable characters that were fun and very enjoyable. I especially liked that Richie guy. He definitely got me to crack up! I really warmed up to these five people. Then Jason came in and ripped them to shreds so to speak. The kills were brutal and harsh (although not that gory) and suspense and tension was IN THE HOUSE! The pacing was perfect and everything was perfect. And this is JUST the opening scene! When the title showed up after this, I couldn’t wait for the movie to truly kick in! How awesome was it truly going to be!
But alas this is where my problems lie. The movie had an AMAZING opening (although I could have done without that corny black and white pre opening thing) but then…went onto become a bland and suspense-less thrill ride with not too many thrills. So in the end, the rest of the movie couldn’t live up to the badass opening. If the movie would have just been the first twenty minutes and been a short film, I actually probably would have been a happy camper. But what was wrong with the rest of the movie you may ask; let me tell you.
First the characters! Except for two characters, these were some of the most annoying and cardboard thin characters to grace the screen. They were supposed to be college students in their twenties but they were doing things that only little kids would do. Basically they grated my nerves BIG TIME! I just wanted them to all die. Thank god for Clay and Jenna. Clay is a guy on a mission to find his sister who went missing in the beginning. He was likable and he was my root to the movie. But it was Jenna who truly stole the movie for me. Danielle Panabaker shined BIG TIME. Her character was pretty thin, but she made her so likable and really added depth and she became the ONLY true character I wanted to make it out alive in the end. The rest of the cast was decent. I didn’t really notice any bad acting; it’s just that they didn’t really have any good roles. If it were up to me, the first five characters would have been the main characters of the entire film.
My biggest problem is that this was NOT Jason. It was pretty much Leatherface at Camp Crystal Lake. Jason in this film was intelligent, held people captive, and traveled through underground tunnels. What?! This is NOT the Jason I know and love. I like my Jason either as a dumb and deformed retard or as an unstoppable zombie. Here he was played as an intelligent hunter. This created MANY plot holes. How could no one notice an intelligent killer living there…especially when he has HIGH BEAM LIGHTS set up! And Jason does NOT keep people captive. He slaughters them, not chains them up. To me this was just not Jason Voorhees. Mears played him well, but I hope in the sequel they make him MORE like the Jason we know and love.
The kills in the movie were brutal and harsh…but they could have gone further. They weren’t gory enough for my liking. But hey! It was still better than any PG-13 shit fest (like Prom Night or The Stepfather remakes). Even though I am a gay man, I appreciated all the sex and nudity because it added an old 80’s feeling to the movie. But having lots of sex and nudity doesn’t make it a Friday the 13th film.
What about the soundtrack? It was...adequate. Nothing more. Nothing less. It did it's job and i don't even remember it...but i would have like more of the ki ki ki ma ma ma theme.
Then came the ending. It was…entertaining, but was DUMBER than Paris Hilton. If you do not want spoilers TURN BACK NOW!!!
SPOILERS!!!
Clay finds his sister alive after six weeks of being chained up by Jason. WTF? Again, Jason doesn’t chain people up! Then they kill off the ONE person who was the only truly likable character, Jenna. It was a surprise because she WAS the heroine. But she went out in such a stupid way. If they were going to kill off the heroine, at least give her a GREAT and respectable death scene. Then it’s the brother and sister alive. There was no suspense. No tension. And when they “kill” Jason, why did they kick his body into the ocean. He’s a “real man” remember? They just disposed of evidence. In Part 6 it was fine cause Jason was a zombie, but here it was just utter stupidity.
In the end, the movie was just a good first 20 minutes and then another hour or so of tensionless stupidity. Almost no likable characters. Jason isn’t the same Jason we used to love. The kills were harsh, but not gory. It was pretty much just dumb entertainment with now suspense.
To think of a rating was hard. Because those first 20 minutes REALLY kicked ass and if I had to JUST rate the first 20 minutes alone, I’d give the movie a strong 8/10…but alas that isn’t the entire film. There was another hour plus. So I had to think of it all together.
Strong opening. Bad middle act. Entertaining but stupid third act. I think the final rating is fair. This movie was stupid entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less.
OVERALL GRADE: 5/10
Monday, November 30, 2009
Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
DIRECTOR: Chris Weitz
CAST:
Kristen Stewart/Bella Swan
Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen
Taylor Lautner/ Jacob Black
Ashley Greene/Alice Cullen
other people i could care less about
Plot: Bella has been dumped by Edward, so she mopes, mopes, and mopes some more and then rebounds with a guy with abs of steel and then has to save Edward at the end...or something like that.
Review:
I'm gonna start off and say I am NOT a Twilight basher. I have read the book series and hated it and I even saw the first movie expecting shit and was pleasantly surprised. I found the first movie to be an enjoyable and "cute" movie. (6/10). Don't take away my man points for liking it. I have a romantic bone inside me. I found Bella to be a likable character and her relationship with Edward was sweet and seemed ALMOST true to me. So I am one of the FEW horror fans who liked, NOT loved, but liked Twilight. It was an okay film. But I still went into this sequel with reservations because i thought the second book was utter shit...and the movie was pretty much a copy of the book...so yeah...you know where i'm about to go.
I could have enjoyed this movie. It had SO much going on for it. They included werewolves, a peeved off vampire that wants revenge (Victoria) and the Volturi. The Volturi are like the government for vampires that rule over them all. These all sound awesome right?! Well this isn't what you get. Instead we have an hour and a half of a girl moping and being depressed over losing her "love." That's it?! Are you fuckin' kidding me?! Sorry, but who wants to pay to see a girl be depressed?
Lets start with my biggest problem first: the main character, Bella Swan. She might just about be one of the WORST written and annoying main characters to ever grace our time. In the first movie she seemed like she had SOME sort of personality or independence. I stress the word SOME I liked her and I could see why Edward would fall in love with her...well sorta. Yes she was angsty, but it was true angst. But in this sequel I wanted to backhand her so badly and I'm FIRMLY against hitting women by the way. I have heard people call her a heroine, but in what case is she? They're all fuckin' stupid! She might just about be one of the worst role models as well out there! She is a woman who is so dependent and MUST have a man in her life. After reading the four books and seeing the two movies, i have come to realize i have learned pretty much NOTHING about her. People call her her selfless...but she is UTTERLY selfish. She drops EVERYTHING for Edward. She doesn't think about her future or college or her family or friends. She only cares about herself and Edward. That is NOT a selfless person. In this movie she is supposed to be a senior in high school, so why isn't she even thinking about college or a future, OTHER than Edward. Sorry girl, but someone should tell you men aren't EVERYTHING. I can rant about her character all day, especially since for class i'm doing an essay on strong women, so it annoys me when people claim women are portrayed badly in horror films even though they usually survive and outsmart the killer, when selfish and lacking-personality twits like Bella are considered role models. What is our world coming too? Tell her to get a fuckin' hobby!
The dialogue is so bad in this sequel. It's WAY too cliched and sounds like an old romance movie from the 20s. It didn't seem fluid or real whatsoever. Granted, the dialogue in the first movie was cliched and crappy, but this sequel takes it to a whole new level. The comparisons to Romeo and Juliet seemed forced and I'm sorry but Edward and Bella are NO Romeo and Juliet. If you want to see some good vampire couples we have Caleb and Mae from Near Dark or Oskar and Eli from Let the Right One In or even Bill and Sookie from True Blood (my favorite show).
In the first movie I thought the relationship was sweet and i really bought into it, but in this one it just did nothing for me...I'm sure it helps that Edward was hardly in this film.
The directing...was okay. It looked good but it just did nothing for me. I was longing for Catherine Hardwicke's directions. Her indie directing gave the first film and edge to it that made it seem much more than just a sappy romance flick. I loved her blue hues and she pulled out so much in the film.
The soundtrack is the BEST part of the film. The one thing that these films have going for it are a good soundtrack. I openly admit I own the scores and the soundtracks to each film. The score is beautiful and poetic, and the music chosen for the film was great. Plus Muse is my favorite band. So on this front, we have a winner.
But how were the performances? On this front...we did okay. Kristen Stewart gets a lot of flack but i believe she IS a good actress...but the role of Bella is badly written with the worst dialogue. I like Kristen Stewart, but even SHE couldn't save the character in this film. She was decent, no more no less. Most of the cast did good with what they were given. Pattinson was okay? He didn't have much of a role though. Taylor Lautner was also decent! Number one...HOT DAMN!!! What a body!!! I was drooling over his body throughout the entire movie, but his face ain't much in my opinion. He looks like a 12 year old boy. His character was sort of likable and was one of the BEST parts of the movie and he's the reason why i give the movie a higher rating then what I should. Lautner wasn't bad in the part either, nothing great. But I was expecting shitty acting. But again, why does he want Bella? He can do so much better! Another stand out to me was Ashley Greene as Alice. Her character was always my favorite and she really livens up the movie when she is on. She is the only character that seems to be smart in the film and her charm is so infectuous i couldn't help but smile when she was onscreen. I want to see more about her character! I wish SHE was the main character. But i must say the inclusion of Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning...CLASS! They knocked their tiny roles OUT of the park. No surprise. It's a shame their characters were barely in the movie since their scene was probably the most interesting part. But the wolf pack, other than Jacob, sucked. They just took off their shirts and that is it. I'm a gay man, and I love shirtless men as much as the next gay man, but this film took it too far. I was getting annoyed by the werewolf clan! Put some fuckin' clothes on!
What else was good about the movie? The last half hour was actually sort of entertaining. But the transition was SLOPPY at best. How was a decision made so fast and how did they get to Rome in NO time! It's ridiculous.
The wolves were too cute looking though, plus I HATE CGI! Just use real goddamn wolves (like True Blood does).
But what was with all the subplots they brought up? Like with Victoria, her character was wasted! THey could have done something cool with her, but instead they threw her character away. Why did they even bother including her in the movie. And with the wolf pack they could have done more with them. But my biggest gripe in the subplot area was with the Volturi. They could have made for an interesting movie, so why did they save them for the last half hour.
In the end...i didn't hate New Moon, I DESPISED New Moon. The main character was badly written and i wanted to kill her and the movie was pretty much a cute chick moping and having no personality. But i found a couple things to like. The performances were mostly decent and the guys were hot and frequently shirtless and Alice's character was so ADORABLE! I would love to see a spin off ALL about her.
But these few things could NOT help a movie THIS bad...bring on Eclipse...*BARF*
OVERALL GRADE: 2/10
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)